The One You Want to Marry (And Other Identities I've Had) by Sophie Santos

Author:Sophie Santos [Santos, Sophie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Biography & Autobiography, Personal Memoirs, Lgbtq, Humor, Topic
ISBN: 9781542020404
Google: lQEtzgEACAAJ
Publisher: Amazon Publishing
Published: 2021-10-14T23:00:00+00:00

That night, the rushees filed into a tiny computer lab in a basement to pick our top eight houses.

The whole process felt torturous. Having to pick favorites was not great for someone with OCD. The thought that I might accidentally forget to select the house I wanted was paralyzing. What if I hit “Send” too early?

The world was full of hazards.

I decided against Iota Chi, Psi Alpha, and Delta Kappa. And since I had accidentally blurted out, “I was an equestrian,” out of nervousness to a Sigma Sigma sister and didn’t want to keep up the hoax for the next four years, I left them off the list. I decided to give Gamma Alpha Beta another shot. Sitting in the computer lab, I stared at the checked black box next to Gamma Alpha Beta. I looked away from the computer, closed my eyes, and turned back with one eye opened to assure myself that the check mark was still next to Gamma Alpha Beta, which seemed smaller this time. I did that three more times.

The next morning, we all shuffled back to Sorority Row. My group was on the corner next to Sigma Sigma. Puts on wig and big sunglasses. The Rho Chis gave out our name cards with all the houses we would visit that day. If a house was not on your card, you were not being considered for that house any longer. There were no redos, no changes, no nothing. Every decision was final. Hence why I stayed in the computer lab for two hours. I was handed my card and quickly noticed Gamma Alpha Beta had made it. I made a celebratory “yes” gesture, yanking my fist to my side in one sharp motion.

There were shrieks and cries of “oh my gawd!” But those were almost drowned out by painful sobbing. Being “dropped” in the first round was a harsh reality for young women who had waited their entire lives to rush the sorority of their dreams—only to be thrown out like a bag of garbage. The Rho Chis made it known that they were there to console—but that if anyone seemed at risk of self-harm, authorities would be called.

A girl dropped out of rush that day and transferred to Ole Miss.

I nervously returned to GAB, where the sisters who were majoring in theater fluttered around me, discussing Spring Awakening and praising my existence. Mary Catherine even came over and introduced me to the president. I felt special, and this felt like an entirely different house than it had on my first visit.

Despite my upswing, I started to hear rumors that girls I had rushed with had been placed on suicide watch already. I was deeply distressed by what I knew was an extremely serious situation—and at the same time amused that anyone would take rushing so seriously.

I returned to my dorm, where I sat in the lounge and gave the deets to Ryan and Frank—my dorm adviser and his buddy.

“Are you kidding? Killing yourself over a cult? That’s a systemic problem within our university.

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