The Memory Curse by Sheila Masterson

Author:Sheila Masterson [Masterson, Sheila]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-11-29T16:00:00+00:00

21

RAINER

Rainer couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so completely drained. The adrenaline of meeting Devlin, whose histories he’d spent his youth reading, had long worn off, and he was left with only his own anxiety and Cecilia’s restlessness buzzing through their bond.

Cecilia sat on the beach with her knees pulled into her chest, drawing spirals in the sand beside her. The stoicism she’d worn all day was gone, replaced by a whirlwind of emotions that played through their connection as she stared out at the sunset over the retreating sea.

Rainer sat next to her, tentatively bringing his hands to her hair. When she said nothing, he unpinned her braid, freeing her curls before gently rubbing her scalp. She sighed, relaxing into his touch, though grief bubbled through their connection.

Her loud sniffle cut through the soothing sound of waves. “What if none of it is real? I know I have to keep it together now but I can’t seem to—”

“Cece, you listen to me.” He tilted her chin so their eyes met. “You fall apart whenever you need to. If you hold it in, it will be a distraction. I will always be right here to listen.”

She blinked away tears in the fading sunlight. “Promise me you won’t make a deal with Cato. Tell me you haven’t.”

“I crescent promised I wouldn’t before. I won’t and I haven’t. I swear.”

“Would you tell me right now if you had?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Even if it would break my heart.” Her voice broke at the words.

“Yes, even then. I swear I haven’t.” Rainer brought her hand to his heart.

“Rain, I still love him. I love him so much.”

“I know.” He ran his fingers through her hair. “We all know.”

Her lower lip trembled. “I said horrible things. I said I would never forgive him. I told him to take a consort. I told him I was his wife in ceremony only. If something happens to him, I’ll never forgive myself. Why do I do that? Why do I hurt other people when I feel hurt?”

Rainer sighed. “Because some stupid guardian taught you to meet an opponent blow for blow. Xander knows and loves your temper.”

“How can I trust what I felt was even real?”

Rainer brushed a tear from her cheek. He could not believe he was about to defend Xander Savero, but he would have done anything to take away Cecilia’s pain. “Didn’t you fall in love with him before he made that deal?”

She nodded. “I don’t know. Cato could have somehow manipulated me.”

“Wouldn’t his manipulation break once you became the goddess? And didn’t Desiree tell you that gods can’t manipulate love like that?”

Cecilia paused, considering his words. “I used to think that love was so simple. That you loved someone, or you didn’t—that there was only one way to love. But now I know that nothing about love is simple. It’s an exchange. A give and take, and to be vulnerable in the way I need to love someone—I don’t think I can do that with Xander anymore.

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