The Hurricanes of Weakerville by Chris Rylander

Author:Chris Rylander
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2022-02-22T00:00:00+00:00

“Ooookay . . .” Slips says slowly. “We can basically only lose nine more games all season to keep our hopes alive?”

I nod. “If we even lose two more games than that, we’d be stuck having to sweep the Harbor Pirates at the end of the season.”

“When was the last time that happened?” Slips asks.

I check my notes.

“Twenty-nine years ago.”

“Those were the Dream Team years,” Aliyah says. “The Big Four. Early Eights Foster.”

“We didn’t lose a single game to the Harbor Pirates when Early Eights was on the team,” I say. “A perfect thirty-seven and oh, including the playoffs.”

“Wow,” Aliyah says. “Now that’s some Baseball Zazzle right there.”

“Baseball Zazzle?” I say.

“Yeah, I’m also lost,” Slips agrees.

“You know what I’m talking about, Weakerman,” Aliyah says. “It’s that undefinable magic that makes baseball baseball. That energy that encompasses all the stuff numbers can’t explain. Like how a guy who has ten career home runs suddenly smashes forty in one season. Or how the Minnesota Twins have an astonishing twenty-six-game playoff losing streak, spanning decades, no matter how well they’ve played during the regular season. Or how Mariano Rivera had a 0.70 ERA in the postseason, less than a third of his career regular-season 2.22 ERA. It’s what makes clutch players clutch, and the chokers choke. It’s what’s behind most curses and hot streaks. It’s the It in It Factor. It explains how teams with very little talent can sometimes win championships. Baseball Zazzle is the governing law behind the whole game. Most players agree that it’s what really decides who wins and who loses. The numbers are just window dressing.”

I definitely know what she’s talking about, I’ve just never heard it called Baseball Zazzle before. Some people call it Baseball Juju, some Baseball Magic; others have their own made-up words for it, like Aliyah. But everyone who knows baseball knows exactly what she’s talking about.

The problem is: it isn’t real.

“Come on.” I laugh. “You don’t actually believe in that stuff, do you?”

“Of course I do!” Aliyah says. “Sometimes it’s the only thing you can believe in.”

“But it’s basically a total dismissal of logic,” I say. “Plus, numbers are not just ‘window dressing.’ They might not always be right, but that only reinforces how often they are.”

“Whatever,” Aliyah says, but she’s still smiling. “Personally, if I really believed everything was predetermined, baseball would be pretty boring.”

I shrug, not really wanting to keep arguing with only the second friend I’ve ever made.

So instead, I ask: “How did you come up with calling it Zazzle anyway?”

“Because Baseball Magic or the Essence of Baseball or whatever people call it is too boring!” she says. “You know? It’s like Baseball Razzle Dazzle, but only with more Zazz!”

Slips and I both laugh. Aliyah can often be so intense, especially during competition, that it’s weird to see her being kind of silly.

“I, for one, love it!” Slips declares.

“Thanks, Rabbit,” Aliyah says.

Slips grins at her new nickname for him.

“Well, uh, anyway . . .” I say to Slips. “A lot

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