The Fragile Years by Amy Cameron O'Rourke

Author:Amy Cameron O'Rourke [O’Rourke, Amy Cameron]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781642939477
Publisher: Post Hill Press
Published: 2021-05-21T14:57:39+00:00

Source: Genworth. Cost of Care Survey 2019: Median Cost Data Tables. Available at: https://www.genworth.com/aging-and-you/finances/cost-of-care.html

In Central Florida, where our operations are based, the average cost of memory care assisted living is closer to $6,000 a month, and that price can double in other areas of the country, particularly in the affluent regions of the Northeast and California.

Typically there is not a lot of state Medicaid funding available for assisted care, which includes care for those with memory and cognitive impairments, but each state is different. Many are surprised that room and board is not covered by Medicare. Medicare is insurance designed to pay for medical care, not for room and board and other daily expenses known as “maintenance care.”

Running out of money before they die is one of the biggest fears of older adults. They tend to try to make it as long as they can without care, which frequently ends in a catastrophic event (most often a fall and a broken hip), and they are forced to receive help, sometimes in a more restrictive environment than they wanted.

It is an ironic truth that assistance is easier to get if you can prove that you are impoverished than if you have some limited financial resources. The cost of care is high, regardless of how much money you make. It is true that if your loved one runs out of money and lives in a nursing home, Medicaid will kick in and pay.

Take Care of the Caregiver, First

When funds are not available for nursing homes or other alternatives, we often see at least one child take on the role of care provider to an aging parent, which can put a lot of strain on families. The most worrisome situations arise when the spouse of a memory-impaired person serves as the full-time caregiver in the home. This can create an untenable situation in which the “well” spouse eventually is hospitalized due to the stress of caring for the one with the memory impairment.

It can be both heartwarming and scary to see a husband or wife caring for their spouse. Such devotion can have a high cost because of the high level of care required and the stress it generates. Often, the caregiving spouse will give up if the dependent spouse becomes incontinent.

I counsel the loved ones of those with dementia to take care of themselves first, but it often takes more than one conversation to help them understand the importance of that. Financial worries and guilt weigh on them. I worry about family caregivers, especially spouses and partners, as much or more than the clients themselves because no one is monitoring their physical and mental health in most cases.

There are scores of support groups online for those whose loved ones have Alzheimer’s or dementia. Most communities also have a network of organizations, non-profits, and support groups that can help you take better care of yourself and the afflicted person. I would recommend hiring a care manager in the area to provide you with the resources available in the community, saving you time and mental stress.

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