The Defining Decade by Meg Jay

Author:Meg Jay [JAY, MEG]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780446575065
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2013-03-12T04:00:00+00:00

Eli and his girlfriend were not a particularly good match, but this was not clear to them. They were both good-looking. They were both Jewish and Democrats. They had the same friends and good sex, and the rest they worked around. Both were kindhearted people who wanted to be in a relationship, and they avoided conflict to keep each other happy. Meanwhile, his faithfulness verged on obedience, and her steadiness could be seen as doggedness.

At some point, Eli told me that he and his girlfriend were going to Nicaragua. I was thrilled.

Traveling in a third-world country is the closest thing there is to being married and raising kids. You have glorious hikes and perfect days on the beach. You go on adventures you would never try, or enjoy, alone. But you also can’t get away from each other. Everything is unfamiliar. Money is tight or you get robbed. Someone gets sick or sunburned. You get bored. It is harder than you expected, but you are glad you didn’t just sit home. Provided Eli did not pop the question by some picturesque waterfall, this was exactly what he and his girlfriend needed. They needed to see how they traveled together.

When Eli returned, he was crestfallen. Under the chronic stress of Nicaragua, he and his girlfriend had become more extreme versions of who they already were. She wanted to go on daylong walks to the ruins, while Eli wanted to hang out in the towns and restaurants. She wanted to stick to a travel budget, while Eli wanted to feel carefree. Eli had been looking forward to a side trip into Costa Rica when he became ill and needed help, which apparently she did not do a good job of providing. Their time and money pooled, it wasn’t so easy to part ways out of convenience. They spent many nights sleeping in separate beds, listening to the birds and monkeys in the rain forest. The relationship ended soon after the trip.

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