The Dark Lord's Handbook: Conquest by Paul Dale

Author:Paul Dale [Dale, Paul]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Dark Lord, epic fantasy, comedy, satire, dragon
Publisher: Paul Dale
Published: 2014-09-16T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 28 Dragons Revealed

The devil in the detail has big horns, sharp nails, and a pointy tail.

The Dark Lord’s Handbook

All it had taken for Hal to get a job was bake one loaf. Likewise, all it had taken for Zara to get a job was to punch the orc captain in the face when he had laughed at her application to join the guard. Both jobs kept them busy—Hal, because there was a fortress full of hungry orcs, and Zara, because there was a fortress full of bored orcs when they weren’t training. Eating, drinking, and fighting seemed to be the full repertoire of life in a Dark Lord’s army. As for Ferg, Hal thought the orc had got a little strange. He was coming and going all the time and was vague about what he was doing. Whatever it was, he was able to keep them up-to-date with what was going on.

Rumours were rife about the Dark Queen, Griselda, having had a monstrous tiff with Morden and she had been seen leaving with Lord Deathwing. Where she was going, or when she would be back, were the subject of heavy betting. Many thought she was pissed off with the volcano exploding, and all the ash, and she had gone to sit on a beach. In the meantime, training was stepping up, and, more importantly, the smithies were working flat out. War was coming and the excitement levels were rising. After three years, it looked like something was going to happen.

This was all well and good, but Hal felt like they were making no progress in their quest. He was forming up a batch of crusty loaves for the morning bake instead of dragon slaying. If all he wanted to do was bake bread, he could have stayed at home. The bakery here was so familiar. The only major difference was the quality of the flour; he knew good flour when he saw it, and he didn’t see any here. The fact Hal had quickly gained the reputation for making the best bread in the fortress was more down to his use of the right amount of salt. Personally, he thought it tasted like the sawdust he suspected it was made from. But he was happy enough; kneading bread did give him plenty of time to think. He was still unsure how he was going to kill a dragon even if he could get close to one. He had no weapon other than a cheap sword. How the dragon slayers of yore managed to notch up a death toll to the point that dragons became creatures of myth was a mystery. They must have had a trick. He couldn’t imagine for a second they went toe-to-toe and came out ahead. Hal was sure it had something to do with the odd feelings he had had when he had been face-to-face with the Dark Lord in the sewer. Part of him had recognised the dragon inside Morden. It was as though he knew him in the way a predator knows its prey.

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