The Curious Rise of Alex Lazarus by Adam Leigh

Author:Adam Leigh [Leigh, Adam]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Whitefox Publishing
Published: 2021-05-05T22:00:00+00:00

15. Uncivil Partnership

“A coach, let me tell you, Alex, is something a football team uses to get to a match. I am not going to embark on some touchy-feel examination of our relationship. I managed to avoid Catherine’s pleas to speak to someone to save our marriage and I have no intention of starting with you.”

It was three weeks after our trip to California and we had just received final notification of major funding from the Johnsons, having finished a video call with their phalanx of lawyers, advisors and accountants. Cole had announced that we were good to go, and the posse of suits and buttoned-down shirts had broken into whoops and cries of enthusiasm as if they had just won a major sporting event. There were only five of us at the other end of the call, sitting with awkward English restraint. We produced a ripple of applause as if at a piano recital.

There had been one unusual contractual stipulation, the product of our bizarre character examination. Julian and I had to produce a quarterly report from some form of executive coach, who would verify that our business partnership was functioning. They wanted to check we were more Ben & Jerry than Tom & Jerry.

I had researched potential candidates and wanted to review them with Julian to start the process. The thought of agnostic adjudication of our increasingly strained partnership was horrendous. Julian’s ego and lack of empathy were to blame. Everyone could see that. Still, a deal was a deal and we wanted to progress with the support of the Johnsons, even if it meant some excruciating sessions for the two of us. Julian, however, was not so willing to be flexible or obedient to the ludicrous demands of our new backers and would not read the profiles of the individuals I was presenting to him. Like a child refusing to eat his broccoli, he was not that reasonable. After a little bit of back and forth, he folded his arms and stated: “You could tell me Steve Jobs had risen from the dead to give us an individual masterclass. I would still say no.”

“What do we do, then, to meet that particular clause in the contract? You know, that irritating little piece of paper that reminds us of our legal responsibilities.”

“You have no imagination.”

“And you have no scruples. Let’s call it an honourable draw.”

“No, I know what I’m saying. You are totally blinkered by obeying the rules. That’s why you need me so much, to show you how to break a few.”

“All right, Che Guevara. I get it. You foment revolutions and dismantle the establishment. May I remind you, though, Brooke and Cole will dismantle us if we don’t do what we’ve promised.”

“Relax. We will absolutely send them a report. We’ll just take turns to write it and it’ll make us seem so adoring of one another, they’ll suspect we’re lovers.”

“It’s a bit high-risk, isn’t it?”

“It’s less risky than actually meeting with someone who tells Brooke and Cole the truth about us.

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