The Challenges of Gifted Children by Barbara Klein

The Challenges of Gifted Children by Barbara Klein

Author:Barbara Klein
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: ABC-CLIO
Published: 2015-12-15T00:00:00+00:00


Parents Who Have Disorganized or Confused Priorities

Parents whose own parents were not good role models have a more difficult time getting their priorities straight about how to establish values and set limits. Often in these families, one parent takes the lead, and the other follows. But both parents do not have the deep conviction they need to raise secure gifted children. Disorganized parents give their children too much say about what is important. There are too many choices and not enough consequences. Unfocused parents have a hard time working with the school and with specialists because they are not certain enough about what they really want to accomplish as parents. Here are some examples.

Catherine and Kimberley decided to have a child together. Catherine carried the child, and Kimberley was the adoptive mother. Both women had come from unhappy home lives and wanted to have a child to love. Cathy had a very difficult birth and suffered from postpartum depression. Kim had very little maternal feeling and limited insight. Kim had difficulty connecting with her daughter Emily. Both mothers were lost and confused. Going from specialist to specialist, to parenting groups, and to preschool was very stressful for the whole family. Emily was a high-strung and intense child who demonstrated characteristics of autism spectrum disorder and giftedness. These partners could not agree on what was best for their daughter, who became more and more withdrawn. Issues with socialization are common when gifted children do not get enough positive parenting and appropriate nurturing.

Amanda, who was not married, had a child with a very wealthy man who she thought would support her both financially and emotionally. Their child was highly gifted and emotionally intense. Jared was hard to calm down and suffered from intense separation anxiety from his father, who was more loving and playful than his mother. Jared’s care was often relegated to nannies and grandparents. While there was enough of everything to go around, Amanda and Tony could not agree on anything. Since Amanda was very determined, she was able to get her way, even if what she wanted was not good for Jared. Teachers, administrators, and specialists worked hard to educate these parents. And they are still trying. Emotional intensity and separation anxiety are present and very disturbing when Jared senses his mom or dad is angry or unavailable.

Miranda, a beautiful and talented actress, was married to a Broadway producer named Bill. Miranda was unable to calm down Harriett, her gifted child. Miranda, a graduate of an Ivy League school, read every book on child rearing. Miranda gave her husband summaries of what she had learned in her research on how to parent. Parenting groups and baby classes, and then Mommy and Me and preschool, were chosen with care. Bill showed Harriett how to swim laps. At one year, she could do five laps in the family pool. Obviously, she had psychomotor overexcitability.

No one, including grandparents and nannies, seemed to be able to calm Harriett down. Her emotional intensity was something to be reckoned with.



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