The Archivist by Rex Pickett

The Archivist by Rex Pickett

Author:Rex Pickett [Pickett, Rex]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-10-15T20:05:00+00:00


Part II

The Fires Inside

Chapter 13

The Cruciform of Desire

9/7/18

More broken sleep. First bad panic attack since the one in San Francisco. Drove myself to the ER. Don’t know how I made it. Fear of death like I’ve never known. Thought I was having a heart attack. Okay now.

No one to call. No one to text. Even if I could have texted Joel, I was afraid of what he would think. All alone in the world.

The deeper I go into the correspondence the more I want to know. The more I know the more isolated I become. It’s the isolation that triggers the panic attacks. So terrifying to be in that state. I want so badly for someone to envelop me in his arms.

If I let it go, if I do my job, if I keep my nose out of what I have found, beginning with that letter in the string-tie envelope, I can walk away from this job, this library, this city, with my name and reputation intact.

I don’t know if I have the will to go on.



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