The Archivist by Rex Pickett
Author:Rex Pickett [Pickett, Rex]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-10-15T20:05:00+00:00
Part II
The Fires Inside
Chapter 13
The Cruciform of Desire
9/7/18
More broken sleep. First bad panic attack since the one in San Francisco. Drove myself to the ER. Donât know how I made it. Fear of death like Iâve never known. Thought I was having a heart attack. Okay now.
No one to call. No one to text. Even if I could have texted Joel, I was afraid of what he would think. All alone in the world.
The deeper I go into the correspondence the more I want to know. The more I know the more isolated I become. Itâs the isolation that triggers the panic attacks. So terrifying to be in that state. I want so badly for someone to envelop me in his arms.
If I let it go, if I do my job, if I keep my nose out of what I have found, beginning with that letter in the string-tie envelope, I can walk away from this job, this library, this city, with my name and reputation intact.
I donât know if I have the will to go on.
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