The 72 Hour Rule by Margot Brown

Author:Margot Brown
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780692013113
Publisher: Brown and Brown Enterprises

Not to minimize gambling or sexual addictions and many other key disorders—there are wonderful 12-step programs for these. The steps are universal. Admit you have a problem. If you do not admit that you have a problem, you will not be helped. So, if your spouse has a problem—at least you’ve identified it—you cannot make them go get help! They have to want the help and ask for it themselves. I have had many clients who would say, “My husband has a problem and we need to come in.” They would come in together and I would spend an hour with someone who resented being dragged to therapy and who justified his behavior. The person would not say he had a problem and did not think it was a problem. So, I either sat there with an exasperated partner who bitched for an hour to no avail, or I sat there with a partner who froze in fear to say what (s)he was feeling about their spouse’s addictive behavior. I would be very direct and give my psycho-education speech, so at least both clients (couple) would be able to leave armed with solid information surrounding whatever the addiction issue was. On the other hand, sometimes it would end with some softening of the immediate and early resistance by the addicted partner. At times, though, it was just a passing of time until they could both leave and go back to their stuck lives. How sad. They did not hire me for the hour to be their friend and to walk softly around the issue of addiction. I delivered it straight and asked all of the tough questions that the partner could not.

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