Take Me Back by Jenny Bloom

Author:Jenny Bloom [Jenny Bloom]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781727088106
Google: a6SbvAEACAAJ
Amazon: 1727088107
Barnesnoble: 1727088107
Goodreads: 42034335
Publisher: Jenny Bloom
Published: 2018-09-23T03:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twelve

Ellie didn’t know how it would go. She figured it would either be fine, and they’d work everything out, or it would be a mess, and they’d lose the small gains they achieved. Ellie hated that she felt pressured into saying it, but she also knew that if nothing was told, it would make their relationship worse at best.

“Well, the guy that you saw, that was my former dealer,” Ellie admitted.

“You mean like...drugs?”

“Yeah. Back when I was in that lifestyle, he was the guy I went to for drugs. He never tried to hurt me until tonight,” Ellie said. She immediately was ashamed when she said those words.

“It’s okay. I don’t think either of us knew what to expect there. I mean, at least you’re safe now,” Kendra said.

“Yeah but, what do you think about me? I honestly don’t believe you’ve completely forgiven myself for what happened back then. I mean, I know I made mistakes, but I'm trying to change Kendra. Not just for myself, but for you too. I don’t like having the past of a druggie. When I think about it...I feel nothing but shame. that’s the life I’ve given to myself though, and I'm forced to wear this brand. But I feel like you’re never going to accept me as the clean person that I am now,” she admitted.

Ellie looked at Kendra, who was hanging her head down.

“I hate that you’re right, you know,” Kendra said.

“Yeah. I know that I'm right. You don’t accept me for who I am. I thought that we could try it again, but I can tell that you still see me as that mess ten years ago. Even though I've done all of it, tried so hard to change myself, lived a clean life, because I want to, you still view me as a monster who’s going to go back to drugs one day,” Ellie said.

She really hated that she was right. Out of all the things she could be right about, it was the one thing that she didn’t want confirmation on. However, the look on Kendra’s face said it all.

“You’re right Ellie. I still see you as the broken woman from ten years ago. The truth is, I'm trying to get over it. Just… give me some time, okay?”

“I can’t Kendra. I tried giving you time. I tried to prove to you that I was a decent motherfucker, and yet, I still get judged to the high heavens. I don’t see why you do it, honestly,” Ellie said.

“Because it’s hard for me to picture you as a sober person,” Kendra finally said.

Those words hit too close to home. Kendra looked at Ellie, and Ellie sank down to the ground, her body shaking at the words.

“Fuck,” Ellie said. She worked so hard to change, so hard to be better, only to be shot down again.

“Ellie, I'm sorr—”

“No, you showed me your true colors Kendra. I'm sorry, I just...I need some time alone,” she said.

“Are you sure? I can—”

“Please. I don’t know how to get home right now.

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