Switch (Black Ties Book 2) by Ford Brynn

Author:Ford, Brynn [Ford, Brynn]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Brynn Ford
Published: 2019-12-16T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 17

Ris

“Unnecessary, worthless, embarrassing, childish, needy… replaceable? For Christ’s sake, Desi, how could you say these things about yourself?” Vaughn finished reading the page I handed him from our scene at Black Ties just a few nights ago.

Desi and I were sitting across from him at the dingy metal table during her weekly visit. She asked me to come with her to offer support as she told him everything about what happened at Black Ties over the weekend.

“It’s not like I sat down and wrote the list,” she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “Sometimes stupid shit just flies out of my mouth and I can’t control it. Law just happened to be taking detailed notes of that stupid shit, so, yeah, it looks like a lot all together like that.”

“It is a lot, baby,” Vaughn said, “None of these things are true.”

She sighed, “I know, I get that now. Wearing my words the way Law planned really fucked with my head. But in a good way?”

“Is that a question?”

“No. No. I see now just how much damage it’s done to me, to let those words own me the way they have for so long.”

“Honey, I still don’t understand where all of these thoughts came from,” I said to Desi, “You didn’t just start thinking horrible things about yourself one day.”

“You’re right. I didn’t,” she said, "I didn't know I had all those words in me. I didn't know they'd been living in me for so long. That they hurt me so much. That they could still hurt me."

“So who put them there?” I asked.

“Her Dad,” Vaughn said, and at the same time Desi said, “My Dad.”

“I’m so sorry, honey,” I replied, “I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but your Dad sounds like a total prick.”

“He was. He was a fat, bald, emotionally abusive alcoholic who drank himself to death when I was fourteen. I never respected him. But I guess his words burrowed deeper inside me than I knew. I guess in a way I have Law to thank for noticing and forcing me to come to terms with my own emotional self-sabotage.”

I nodded, “I mean, the Black Ties punishment was a pretty twisted way of going about it –”

“No, shit,” Vaughn interrupted.

“But,” I went on, giving him a look, “Law is very insightful when it comes to sharing his observations and his rather creative punishments seem to be effective in a fucked up way,” I paused, looking at Desi, “Wait, why is your last name hyphenated if your relationship with your Dad was so awful?”

“Rhodes is my Mom’s maiden name,” she said, “It’s always been my last name. My Dad wasn’t around when I was born, came back when I was four, then died ten years later,” she shrugged.

“Her mom’s pretty cool,” Vaughn said to me, “She deserves the hyphen.”

“She does,” Desi agreed, “Though, I don’t know. Sometimes I think about dropping it. Would be less confusing when we have kids without a

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