Sweet Farts #1 (Sweet Farts Series) by Bean Raymond

Author:Bean, Raymond [Bean, Raymond]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: AmazonEncore
Published: 2012-04-03T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 14

Trial Number One

Later that night, I created a list of things I thought might help make farts smell better.

My List

Rose petals

Daisies

Perfume on your food

Spoonful of sugar

Cotton candy

Herbs

Lemon zest

Soap flakes

Pollen

Baking soda

Baby powder

Lemon/lime/orange juice combination

I decided to do my first trial that night. Why wait around and worry about it? I would need to make my family stick to a strict diet. The foods they ate could not change. That way, the only thing changing would be the ingredient I decided to give them. I had one month until the science fair. I decided to pick three things to test: rose petals, baking soda, and a lemon/lime/orange juice combination. I would give each one to them for a week to see if there was any improvement in their gas smell.

Later on I sat them all down to explain my idea. “I am not going to do this,” my mom began.

“But what about supporting your son?” I asked.

“There is something very important that you are forgetting, Keith,” she said.

“What is that, Mom?”

“You are forgetting that I do not pass gas. A lady never does.”

“Come on, Mom. You’re going to tell me that you never pass gas?”

“Now you are the one repeating things,” she said.

“Never once?”

“Never once,” she said. My dad laughed.

“Don’t you even say a word, Mr. Oops,” she said. “Keith, listen to me very carefully. I do not pass gas, and I will not participate in your little farting contest. I will support you and help you in any way I can, but I will not be a part of this experiment.”

“I want to be in a contest,” my sister said. “Can I win a prize?”

“Not really,” I said. “It’s not that kind of a contest, Emma. It’s not really a contest at all. I just want to see if I can make farts smell good.”

“We do not say fawts in this house,” my sister insisted. “We call them bubs. And bubs don’t smell good. They smell gwose,” she said scrunching up her face.

“I know. I’m trying to fix them so they smell good.”

“Your sister and I would be happy to help,” my dad said.

“Okay, good. The first thing we have to decide on is your diet. You are going to have to eat the same thing every day for a month. We can’t change your diet in any way because it could alter the experiment.”

“I want to eat cookies,” my sister said.

“Me, too,” my dad added.

“I don’t think so,” my mom replied. “I’ll make you guys chicken cutlets, rice, and a salad every night.”

“I don’t want salad and chicken. I want cookies,” my sister whined.

“You can’t eat only cookies for a month,” my mom said.

“I want cookies and ice cream then.”

“You are going to have chicken because it is good for you. You will also have rice and a salad. And if you eat all of those every night, I will make you cookies. Is that fair?”

“Okay, but I only want the cookies. I do not have to eat the chicken.

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