Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Puffin Modern Classics) by Roald Dahl

Author:Roald Dahl [Dahl, Roald]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780141960616
Publisher: Penguin Publishing
Published: 2008-11-20T08:00:00+00:00

The Oompa-Loompa took one look at Mrs Gloop and exploded into peals of laughter.

‘Oh, do be quiet!’ said Mr Wonka. ‘Control yourself! Pull yourself together! Mrs Gloop doesn’t think it’s at all funny!’

‘You can say that again!’ said Mrs Gloop.

‘Go straight to the Fudge Room,’ Mr Wonka said to the Oompa-Loompa, ‘and when you get there, take a long stick and start poking around inside the big chocolate-mixing barrel. I’m almost certain you’ll find him in there. But you’d better look sharp! You’ll have to hurry! If you leave him in the chocolate-mixing barrel too long, he’s liable to get poured out into the fudge boiler, and that really would be a disaster, wouldn’t it? My fudge would become quite uneatable!’

Mrs Gloop let out a shriek of fury.

‘I’m joking,’ said Mr Wonka, giggling madly behind his beard. ‘I didn’t mean it. Forgive me. I’m so sorry. Good-bye, Mrs Gloop! And Mr Gloop! Good-bye! I’ll see you later…’

As Mr and Mrs Gloop and their tiny escort hurried away, the five Oompa-Loompas on the far side of the river suddenly began hopping and dancing about and beating wildly upon a number of very small drums. ‘Augustus Gloop!’ they chanted. ‘Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop!’

‘Grandpa!’ cried Charlie. ‘Listen to them, Grandpa! What are they doing?’

‘Ssshh!’ whispered Grandpa Joe. ‘I think they’re going to sing us a song!’

‘Augustus Gloop!’ chanted the Oompa-Loompas.

‘Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop!

The great big greedy nincompoop!

How long could we allow this beast

To gorge and guzzle, feed and feast

On everything he wanted to?

Great Scott! It simply wouldn’t do!

However long this pig might live,

We’re positive he’d never give

Even the smallest bit of fun

Or happiness to anyone.

So what we do in cases such

As this, we use the gentle touch,

And carefully we take the brat

And turn him into something that

Will give great pleasure to us all –

A doll, for instance, or a ball,

Or marbles or a rocking horse.

But this revolting boy, of course,

Was so unutterably vile,

So greedy, foul, and infantile,

He left a most disgusting taste

Inside our mouths, and so in haste

We chose a thing that, come what may,

Would take the nasty taste away.

“Come on!” we cried. “The time is ripe

To send him shooting up the pipe!

He has to go! It has to be!”

And very soon, he’s going to see

Inside the room to which he’s gone

Some funny things are going on.

But don’t, dear children, be alarmed;

Augustus Gloop will not be harmed,

Although, of course, we must admit

He will be altered quite a bit.

He’ll be quite changed from what he’s been,

When he goes through the fudge machine:

Slowly, the wheels go round and round,

The cogs begin to grind and pound;

A hundred knives go slice, slice, slice;

We add some sugar, cream, and spice;

We boil him for a minute more,

Until we’re absolutely sure

That all the greed and all the gall

Is boiled away for once and all.

Then out he comes! And now! By grace!

A miracle has taken place!

This boy, who only just before

Was loathed by men from shore to shore,

This greedy brute, this louse’s ear,

Is loved by people everywhere!

For who could

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