Stumbling Into Infinity by Michael Fischman

Author:Michael Fischman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Surrender & Samadhi

IT COULD ONLY HAVE BEEN GRACE that propelled me to carry on as an Art of Living teacher after my humiliation by the AIDS group. The feedback I received was uncharted territory. Did everyone feel this way about me? Was I really that bad? Questioning over and over, I vacillated between blaming myself and blaming everyone else. Then, perhaps out of sheer exhaustion, my mind flipped over.

It became evident that if I were to grow spiritually, I needed to take responsibility for my actions and for how I projected myself. If I wanted to be around Guruji, I needed to be more like him. I needed to refine my personality and become more gentle and considerate of others.

As time passed, I again began to think of ways to expand Guruji’s exposure in the U.S. One day, I saw a poster advertising the annual Whole Life Expo, a popular New Age event that presented the latest trends in personal development to thousands of spiritually minded seekers. I thought it would be a great idea for Guruji to be one of the featured speakers at the Expo.

I got together with Jeff Houk and Catherine (John Osborne’s wife, who was now the chairperson of the new U.S. Art of Living Foundation), and we placed a call to India to discuss the idea with Guruji.

Guruji was reluctant. “I don’t think that would be a dignified place for me to speak,” he said. “The people who come to these types of things are not so dedicated. They are just coming to an event, shopping around for this and that. They won’t be in that subtle space to get what I am saying.”

I read him the names of the other speakers — Ram Dass, Bernie Siegel, Timothy Leary, Yogi Bhajan, Uri Geller, Deepak Chopra, etc.

But again, Guruji said no, and made it clear that he was not interested in attending an event like this. I tried a couple more times to persuade him, but he was still not interested.

Then out of the clear blue, he said, laughing, “Maybe I could come and wear my shawl with all the glitter and be the Glittering Guru.”

“It’s up to you, Guruji,” I said calmly, trying to seem as if I had no attachment to his decision. “If you think it will be worthwhile, we can make the arrangements. Otherwise we can focus on other things.”

“OK, yes, I will come,” he said.

My mind became busy, planning and organizing for his visit. I contacted the organizers of the Expo. Most unknown and unpublished speakers were allotted forty-five minutes for their presentations. I convinced the management of the Expo that Guruji had a huge following and that all of his followers in Southern California would be coming to the Expo to hear him speak. So they gave him a two-hour, prime-time slot, on Sunday, from noon to 2 p.m.

To promote the event, I took out a full-page ad on the first page of the Expo’s program guide. I was

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