Sticky Church (Leadership Network Innovation Series) by Larry Osborne

Author:Larry Osborne [Osborne, Larry]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2008-12-29T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter 14

Entry Points and Escape Routes

I remember one of the first small groups I ever participated in. We were college students thrown together by a professor who believed we needed something more than notebooks full of theological information to prepare for a lifetime of ministry.

There were seven of us in the group. The idea was to meet weekly to pray, share, and support each other in our studies, life, and ministry.

I hated it.

First, I already had a group of friends who were meeting those needs in my life. Second, while on the surface it may have appeared as if we had a lot in common (our commitment to Jesus, our preparations for ministry, a similar age, a shared struggle with the frustrating nuances of the Greek language), in reality we didn’t connect.

I’m not sure why.

Maybe they thought I was too rebellious and irreverent. I know I thought a couple of them were too wide-eyed and gullible. I liked my rock and roll loud—really loud. The guy next to me thought anything with a beat belonged to the Devil, even if it had Christian words tacked on. Then there was the kid whose voice dropped two octaves and whose vocabulary suddenly became Shakespearean every time he prayed.

I once called God “Dude.” He called him, “Oh most holy and precious Lord.”

I was glad they were all Christians. The evangelist in me was thrilled that they had their eternity squared away. But I have to admit I was also quite happy to know that heaven is big—really big.

Now, imagine this happening not in a group that a professor assigned me to but in one I’ve signed up for myself. And imagine that we’re supposed to meet for an entire year.

Odds are, I’ll do exactly the same thing I did with my professor’s group. I’ll find a way to weasel out of the commitment. And once I finally extricate myself, it will be a cold day in a place where I don’t plan to ever go before I try another one.

The Weasel Factor

Yet that’s exactly the way many churches structure their small group ministries. In the mistaken belief that our unity in Christ and a sincere commitment to spiritual growth will trump any personality clashes or relational near misses, we put people together by affinity or neighborhood and throw away the key.

But people won’t stick with things or groups that are uncomfortable. Maybe they should. But they don’t. So they weasel out.

If you’ve ever been weaseled on or been the weasel yourself, you know it’s a miserable experience filled with lame excuses, awkward silences, averted glances, and ofttimes a giant elephant in the room.

Is it any wonder that people who’ve gone through it once seldom sign up to go through it again?

What’s the best way to avoid the weasel factor? Make it unnecessary. Give people pain-free off-ramps and easy escape routes. Make them plentiful.

We do that by limiting our small group sessions to just ten weeks. We also give new members the first three weeks to decide whether to opt in for the rest of the session or bail out.

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