Sparked by Yashika Vahi

Author:Yashika Vahi
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Notion Press
Published: 2021-04-05T00:00:00+00:00

I go to the hospital at night, and when Noah’s parents exit his room, I quietly sneak inside to see him one last time before leaving.

My eyes fill up with tears as I observe his unconscious body, but I bite my lower lip and look up to prevent them from flowing down.

Planting a kiss on his forehead, I whisper, “I’m sorry,” and leave.

Matthew

10thMay

10:03 p.m.

What if I was the reason? What if the reason he didn’t talk to me is because I was the problem? It just makes me so sad. I run to the back of the house and tears roll down from my eyes as I fall to the ground, leaning against the house wall.

I could’ve been a better brother. I could’ve helped him get better, but I didn’t even know. How careless of a brother does that make me?

I pull my knees closer to my chest and wrap my arms around them.

“Hey,” a voice comes from my right. It’s Mia.

I don’t say anything, and she walks up to me. “May I join the club?” she asks, pointing to the ground beside me.

I chuckle as I wipe my tears, “Be my guest.”

She sits down, and we both stay silent as we rest our heads on the wall.

“We have to believe it gets better,” she breaks the silence. I look at her, but she keeps her gaze in front. “Otherwise, it’s all just a waste. We’re living for nothing.”

I rest my head back on the wall. “What if it doesn’t get better?”

“Well, we’re still living, aren’t we?”

I play with my hands as I rest them on my knees but don’t say anything.

“We can’t keep feeling guilty about things we’ll never be sure were our fault in the first place,” she looks at me.

I get her reference and then look back at her, confused as to how she found out.

“Small town, Matthew. People talk.”

I close my eyes and lean my head back on the wall as I fail to stop the tears. Tired of keeping it in, I speak up, “It was supposed to be the best day of my life.” I smile, “I’d just won a competition I’d been working very hard for, and everyone was so proud. It was the first day of junior year too, and everything was perfect. I returned home at around 5 o’clock, and I was so happy. I went straight to his room. He was the only person I wanted to share my happiness with, but then I saw him, lying still on his bed.” I bite my lower lip as tears flow down and then look at her, “Wrists slit open. No note. Nothing. He was gone. I kept screaming ‘don’t leave me, please don’t leave me,’ but I knew I couldn’t do anything. He was gone, his body getting colder by the second.”

She holds out her hand to me but doesn’t say anything.

Holding her hand, feeling comfortable talking, I continue, “I should’ve called someone. I should’ve called Mom or Dad or 911 or anyone, but I didn’t.

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