Some Thoughts About Relationships by Colin Wright

Author:Colin Wright
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Relationships, Self-Help, Partnerships, Personal Growth, Communication
Publisher: Asymmetrical Press
Published: 2015-07-14T00:00:00+00:00

Campsite Policy

The Campsite Policy is based on the “campsite rule” that was coined by advice columnist Dan Savage as advice for folks who are dating someone much younger or less experienced than themselves. When camping, you clean up after yourself before you leave and try to avoid leaving your campsite a mess for the next person who camps there. The campsite rule says that it’s fine to date someone who is at a different point in their life, as long as you leave them at least as happy and healthy as you found them, and ideally, even better.

The Campsite Policy takes that concept a little further to encompass all relationships. We all hold some kind of power over our partner when we’re in a relationship, whether that power is overt or covert. As a result, it makes sense that we should try to wield that power benevolently.

Rather than leaving a trail of emotionally broken people in our wake, used up and developmentally stagnant, everyone is better off if we actively help our partners grow.

We benefit from this policy because we get to enjoy the company of a maturing partner; someone who gets better and better each day. Those who might date us or our partners at some point in the future benefit because they’ll be enjoying the company of a wonderful person who was partially shaped by the dynamics of a previous, excellent relationship. Our partners benefit because they have had a positive, growth-oriented experience with someone who treated them well and didn’t saddle them with emotional or physical baggage.

The importance of making growth a default within a relationship cannot be overstated. All too often change is unintentionally stifled by well-meaning people who don’t want their partner to face difficulty or harm. By helping them pursue their passions and reach their goals, you’re contributing to their overall, long-term happiness, potentially even beyond the duration of the relationship.

People can be damaged by relationships, especially when their couplings are defined by an imbalance of power, a lack of clear communication that results in misunderstandings and heartache, or when the relationship ends with a dramatic breakup.

The Campsite Policy is an approach to relationships which asks that we never lose sight of the bigger picture. It helps us remember that our partners are human beings beyond the place and time in which we intersect with them, and that it’s our responsibility to do our best to ensure they’re happy and healthy as long as it’s within our power to do so.

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