Sinner Takes All: A Memoir Of Love & Porn by Patrick Tera

Author:Patrick, Tera
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781592405220

CHAPTER 16

The Happiest Girl in the World

Ireally did know that Evan would be my husband on that first night together. I never believed in that until it happened to me. With Evan, I just knew it. My previous two engagements to Clayton and Roland didn't even count. I was young and naive then, and even though I accepted their proposals, deep down I never felt that either of them was the one. Besides, there was always a side of me that wanted to wait until I was older to get married because I had seen what getting married too young did to my parents.

Evan and I were inseparable during the first few months of our relationship. It was a passionate, crazy, emotional, sex-crazed time. I wanted to spend more time with Evan and less time working, but Digital Playground was making it hard for me. I'd be preparing to fly to New York to see Evan, and my manager, Sam, would all of a sudden have a job for me that weekend. It felt like she was trying to keep us apart. But there were certain jobs I just had to do, such as appearing at the Venus adult film expo in Berlin, Germany, in October 2002. I was booked in Germany for two full weeks, and I didn't want to be apart from Evan for that long, but Sam made me go.

I was busy every day at Venus signing autographs, meeting distributors, and schmoozing. And I was calling Evan constantly. I missed him so much and I was going through my jealousy phase, which was making me insecure about being apart. Instead of going to any of the Venus parties or events, I would stay in my hotel room, talking to Evan for hours. We were still in the honeymoon period of our relationship, as it had only been a month since our first date and we were head-over-heels in love.

Evan called me constantly too. We both just missed each other a lot and loved to hear the sound of the other's voice. One day on this trip, I called Evan and he wasn't there. No worries. He usually calls back immediately. I figured maybe he was just in the bathroom or the shower or something. But then an hour went by and still no Evan. Two hours went by and I began to think the worst: He's with another girl! I was getting furious, and each message to him got more frantic. I started out all sweet and loving, “Hi, Evan, it's me. I miss you. Call me.” And by the time I left my fifth message it was, “Where the fuck are you? What the fuck are you doing? You better not be with another girl! You fucking asshole!”

Twenty-four hours later, I called his cell again and his friend Robey picked up. I said, “Where the fuck is Evan? What the fuck is going on?” He told me Evan was in the hospital. Evan and his friend

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