She Stoops to Conquer by Oliver Goldsmith

She Stoops to Conquer by Oliver Goldsmith

Author:Oliver Goldsmith
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780486112763
Publisher: Dover Publications
Published: 2012-10-18T16:00:00+00:00


MRS. HARDCASTLE. Confusion! thieves! robbers! We are cheated, plundered, broke open, undone!

TONY. What’s the matter, what’s the matter, mamma? I hope nothing has happened to any of the good family!

MRS. HARDCASTLE. We are robbed. My bureau has been broke open, the jewels taken out, and I’m undone!

TONY. Oh! is that all? Ha! ha! ha! By the laws, I never saw it better acted in my life. Ecod, I thought you was ruined in earnest, ha, ha, ha!

MRS. HARDCASTLE. Why, boy, I am ruined in earnest. My bureau has been broke open, and all taken away.

TONY. Stick to that; ha, ha, ha! stick to that. I’ll bear witness, you know, call me to bear witness.

MRS. HARDCASTLE. I tell you, Tony, by all that’s precious, the jewels are gone, and I shall be ruined for ever.

TONY. Sure I know they’re gone, and I am to say so.

MRS. HARDCASTLE. My dearest Tony, but hear me. They’re gone, I say.

TONY. By the laws, mamma, you make me for to laugh, ha! ha! I know who took them well enough, ha! ha! ha!

MRS. HARDCASTLE. Was there ever such a blockhead, that can’t tell the difference between jest and earnest! I tell you I’m not in jest, booby!

TONY. That’s right, that’s right! You must be in a bitter passion, and then nobody will suspect either of us. I’ll bear witness that they are gone.

MRS. HARDCASTLE. Was there ever such a cross-grained brute, that won’t hear me! Can you bear witness that you’re no better than a fool? Was ever poor woman so beset with fools on one hand, and thieves on the other?

TONY. I can bear witness to that.

MRS. HARDCASTLE. Bear witness again, you blockhead, you, and I’ll turn you out of the room directly. My poor niece, what will become of her? Do you laugh, you unfeeling brute, as if you enjoyed my distress?

TONY. I can bear witness to that.

MRS. HARDCASTLE. Do you insult me, monster? I’ll teach you to vex your mother, I will!

TONY. I can bear witness to that.

[He runs off, she follows him.

Enter MISS HARDCASTLE and MAID.



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