Secrets of Happiness by Joan Silber

Author:Joan Silber
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Catapult
Published: 2021-02-05T00:00:00+00:00

Kirk was upset. I could tell by the sight of him, rumpled and frowning, when I ran into him by the recycling bins in the basement of the building. I was throwing out a bag of empty cans of ginger ale. It was the one thing Saul liked now that he was back to not liking again. The cans were clanging as I dumped them.

“He’s not doing well, is he?” Kirk said. “I didn’t know how it would be.”

“I guess you didn’t,” I said.

“Don’t be against me,” Kirk said.

He wanted me to like him too? I might’ve pushed him into the recyclables, if I’d been a different sort of person. “What’s the matter with you?” I said. We seemed to be connected forever, but so what?

“Did he tell you?” Kirk said. “I asked him to move back.”

I gasped out loud, a wheeze of amazement. I had just been thinking of getting someone to come in a few hours a day to help, as much as his insurance would cover. Someone good. Not needed now? No longer my business?

“He said no,” Kirk said.

“Fuck,” I said.

Of course, I was proud of my brother (we don’t kneel) and quite surprised. Kirk had been even more surprised.

“I could help. I’m his friend! He doesn’t care,” Kirk said. “He insists that he’s happier without me.”

Kirk sounded devastated by this bit of news. Which was probably not even true, though maybe it was. Who knew what my brother really wanted? He acted now as if he were in a kingdom whose language was too much work to translate for us.

Kirk was gazing at me, waiting for something he was hoping I could give. “Everybody thinks he’s so mild, but he’s the stubbornest person on the planet,” I said. “No is no.”

Kirk said, “Maybe he’ll change his mind.”

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