Scrambled Lives: A LitRPG Novel by Rue Vespers

Author:Rue Vespers [Vespers, Rue]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-02-12T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty-Three

“GOOD MORNING, FUCKFACE!”

“For fuck’s sake, Rosy,” Jenner grumbled at the teacup, which was hopping exuberantly on his ass.

A puddle of drool had formed beneath his left cheek overnight. He rolled over onto his back in the squeaky, uncomfortable bed, thinking that he needed to find a better inn than The Queen’s Crown. Today. He hated this dirty, shabby room, and having to go to the communal bathroom down the hall to shower or take a piss.

There was a wealth of options for inns up and down Road of Royals, not to mention on the surrounding streets, so he had no excuse. His purse was laden with silver and pennies, more than enough to afford a higher level of quality in his accommodations.

The part in the curtain showed a dark gray sky, and the sound of steadily drumming rain was coming through the streaked glass. He closed his eyes, knowing he needed to get up and head over to the gladiator office to enroll as a fighter, but it was still very early. “Just let me sleep a little more,” he complained.

The overly excited teacup was now pinging around the room like a little rubber ball. It broke into song. “IT’S A VIRTUAL DAY IN THE RUNDOWN ‘HOOD-”

“Rosy!”

The teacup soared over his head, bounced off the window, and somersaulted through the air as it soared back. “IT’S A GRAY, RAINY DAY IN A BINARY MOOD-”

Jenner hid under the pillow. “Rosy!”

“HOW DO WE HELP THE WANDLESS WIZARD? DAMN, HE IS SAD AS A SPELL-LESS LIZARD! IF HE OFFERS GOLD AND A HEALTHY GIZZARD? WELL, SHOVE THEM UP HIS ASSHOLE! Get up, kid!”

Jenner pulled the pillow off his face and lobbed it at the teacup, which skidded under the bed to make noisy fart sounds. Conceding, Jenner said, “Okay. I’m getting up. Just stop making noise!”

The second his feet hit the floor, the teacup giggled and silenced.

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