Says Who? by Nadrich Ora;

Author:Nadrich, Ora;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing

Chapter 9

Thoughts vs. Feelings

I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.

—Oscar Wilde

Our thoughts affect our emotions because whatever we tell ourselves we believe, and, depending on what we believe, that influences how we feel.

But sometimes our feelings seem like they’re controlling us because what we’re feeling is so intense and emotional, we assume that our feelings have the upper hand, which, in fact, they do, because when we are functioning out of pure emotion our thinking function literally seems to fade when our emotions have taken over. When we’re feeling happy and joyous, it’s usually easy to link those feelings to particular thoughts like, “I’m in love, It’s a beautiful day, I’m going on vacation, I got a raise,” etc., but, when we’re feeling something like sadness, sometimes it’s not as easy to get to the exact reason for our unhappiness because we can feel so weighed down or overwhelmed by it, that all you can register is how stuck you feel in your misery. It’s like being in quicksand and feeling that you’re slipping deeper and deeper into a hole without even really knowing how you got there or how you’re going to get out.

Feeling an emotion like sadness, to the point where it’s taken over your mood and you can’t seem to shake it off, is often not just because of the very thing that made you sad, like the end of a relationship, or the death of a loved one, etc., but it can be the ongoing thoughts around what caused your sadness that can linger or dominate your mind. It’s those thoughts connected to your emotion that you need to question or even challenge with the Says Who? method so you can process it properly because it’s very easy to get sucked into, or even taken over by an emotion like sadness, to the point where it can escalate into something more serious like depression, if you’re not careful.

The end of anything meaningful, or loss of someone that was deeply important to us, can conjure up so many thoughts related to it that are purely emotion driven. For example: The death of a loved one can be so profoundly devastating for us, that a thought like, “I don’t want to be here anymore if they’re not here,” can get planted in our mind almost immediately when someone close to us dies, and that thought will remain attached to our emotion, even if it’s buried inside our heart. That’s why for some people, they cannot get over their sadness or grieving over the loss of a loved one, so much so that they can go years still feeling deep sadness, not just because of losing someone they love, but because of their “thought” related to their loss, which is that they too want to die. Until you work through a thought as serious as that by examining it, you will continue to be at the effect of it.

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