Safari Crime: A Kat Makris Greek Mafia Novel by Alex A. King

Author:Alex A. King [King, Alex A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Amazon: B0931ZNCT3
Goodreads: 57805571
Publisher: #PrB.rating#4.55
Published: 2021-04-19T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

Despite the soldiers dropping like flies, I conked out and spent the night dreaming about being trapped in a grocery store without a self-checkout. When I woke up, Marika’s foot was in my face and Dina’s hair was curled up on my chest, snoring. But my lip was back to mostly normal, so I had that going for me.

“Help,” I whispered.

Help wasn’t coming. I inched my hand sideways until my fingers found my phone. I texted Elias. Next thing I knew he was opening the limo door.

“Help,” I said. “Also, Takis must never see this.”

“Too late!” Takis said behind him. “Hold still. I want to record this for Youtube.”

“What? No!”

“Skasmos or you will wake the monkey,” he said.

Marika opened one eye. “What did you call me?”

“Not you, the other monkey.”

Marika’s gaze cut to my chest and Dina’s slumbering wig. She screamed.

The monkey grabbed its stolen wig and bounded to the driver’s side footwell.

“That is how I scream every morning when I roll over and see Marika’s face,” Takis said. “And then I hide just like that monkey.”

Marika slapped at him. He dodged.

“What is it doing?” Elias asked.

The little monkey made a weird grunting noise.

“I think it’s trying to speak Takis,” I said.

A moment later its tiny hand appeared. An unholy stink filled the limo.

“Oh my God,” I said. “It pooped in its hand!” I wasn’t sure whether to be horrified or delighted. Mostly I was shocked. Hand pooping was more of a chimpanzee thing. They flung feces in captivity when they were stressed. This was just some tiny wig-stealing primate.

Monkey poop sailed between the seats and smacked Takis in the face.

“That little malakas!” He lunged across the console. I grabbed the back of his pants. He howled in agony as the cotton sweatpants squeezed his goobers. “My archidia ,” he cried as he fell back onto the leopard print seat.

“That is what you get for calling me a monkey,” Marika said.

The poor little thing was cowering between the brake and accelerator, clutching Dina’s hair. Somehow it had managed to sneak into the limousine overnight.

“Everybody out,” I whispered. “We’re scaring it.”

The others bailed. Marika made sure she grabbed her newly acquired snacks. I gave the sugary eats to Elias to hand out to anyone who was still alive.

“How many are left?” I asked my bodyguard.

“Fifteen.”

“Yikes. Not too smart, are they?”

“They keep looking for the shooter and will not come inside.”

He left me to it. I waited until everyone was gone before I crouched down and beckoned to the little monkey. She—the absence of frank ’n’ beans determined—hung back, unsure about who she’d spent the night with. Hopefully what I was about to do wasn’t animal abuse. I opened a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie and offered it to her. Gripping the wig, she hopped over and snatched the pie before skittering back to the footwell.

My work here was done. With the monkey fed, I wandered out to see who had made it through the night. The crash site was littered with mercenaries’ bodies.

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