Rich in Years by Johann Arnold Christoph

Author:Johann Arnold Christoph
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: old age, elderly, getting old
Publisher: Plough Publishing House
Published: 2013-08-22T04:00:00+00:00

Living with Dementia

THOUGH THE ACHES AND PAINS of old age usually start out as mere inconveniences, they soon assume more serious proportions. It is the same with the breaking down of our minds: what starts as ordinary forgetfulness and absentmindedness often progresses into the ravages of dementia, the most common form of which is Alzheimer’s. This disease has been increasingly on my mind, as several beloved members of my church have been stricken with it in recent years.

For most (if not all) of us, the prospect of losing our minds is nothing short of terrifying. But perhaps that’s because we as a society are approaching it all wrong. Maybe people would fear it less if they didn’t have to worry so much about becoming confined to a ward in a nursing home. Perhaps we need to value and cherish those afflicted by this disease, rather than institutionalize them. In my church we attempt to integrate them into congregational life and activities as much as possible. Younger members take turns helping to care for them on weekends or just spend time with them.

A disorder such as Alzheimer’s needs to be faced with patience and love in a family setting wherever possible. It can be difficult, but the alternative is much worse. The way people with dementia are warehoused in long-term care units is something I wouldn’t wish for anyone, especially a loved one. On the other hand, countless families have no other choice than to send their parents to such a facility. No wonder they feel guilt, pain, and shame for having to do so. Yet there is no simple solution to such need. Or is there?

As hard as it may be, I often wonder what would happen if, as a society, we chose to focus more on the positive aspects of the disease: the return to childlikeness. People suffering from dementia can be a treasure, not only a burden. Alzheimer’s does not need to be an experience of shame, misery, and hell for those involved. As Detlef Manke, a pastor who worked with Alzheimer’s patients in Germany, told me:

If somebody wants to learn how to serve, let them care for somebody who has Alzheimer’s. If somebody wants to learn compassion, let them be with people who have Alzheimer’s, because there is nothing more wonderful and rewarding than to receive their love when you make them feel understood in every regard.

They also teach us to live fully in the present – this in itself can be an adventure. They may be sad or aggravated one moment, and the next moment everything is wonderful. The caregiver has to be ready to answer the same question every few minutes.

And always, they need to be respected as personalities rich in years and experience. If we think they talk nonsense, it is we who are stupid; we just do not have the key to their rich world.

Only those who find this key will experience the so-called “windows” that open even at the very last stages of Alzheimer’s.

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