Real Vampires Don't Sparkle by Amy Fecteau

Author:Amy Fecteau
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, azw3
ISBN: 9781620072622
Publisher: Curiosity Quills Press
Published: 2013-06-08T07:00:00+00:00

Matheus lay face down in the dirt, contemplating his new life.

All in all, it sucked. Pun unintended.

According to everything pop culture told him, he should be beating women off with a stick. They should swarm, Beatles-style, whenever he left the house. One brooding, smoldering glance from Matheus, and women would hurtle toward him like steel to an electromagnet.

Lies. Horrible, horrible lies.

“I think focusing on a single style would be better,” said Bianca. “Once he has the basics of one, then he can move on to others.”

“I disagree,” said Juliet. “A more rounded approach is required.”

Matheus raised his head enough to see two red-soled heels and a pair of Converse All-Stars face off. He groaned and returned to his original dirt-eating position.

“I’m not talking about years of dedication. Mat’s not going to be winning any MMA titles. I’ve seen more graceful amputees. I just think focusing on one thing at a time would give him more of a chance to succeed and build confidence. Confidence is very important.”

“So is flexibility. One has to adjust to the situation.”

“Excuse me,” said Quin. “I’m the one training him.”

“You’re doing a terrible job,” said Juliet. “Look at Pet just lying there. It’s pathetic.” She clucked her tongue, kneeling low enough to pat Matheus on the back of the head, but not so low that the hem of her skirt touched the ground.

“Like watching a kitten trying to fight a walrus. No, that would be adorable. Mat, do you have Internet here? I need to look something up on YouTube,” Bianca said.

“Go home, both of you,” Quin said. “You aren’t helping.”

“Quin, darling—”

“I’m trying to help—”

Juliet let out a loud oh at the same moment Bianca gave a startled squeak. Matheus lifted his head enough to see the heels and the sneakers dragged out of sight. The gate to the street opened, accompanied by feminine cursing. Juliet used language a Hell’s Angel might think twice about. Bianca kept repeating she was trying to help. The gate slammed shut and a new pair of shoes appeared in Matheus’ line of sight.

“Are they gone?” Matheus asked.

“For now,” said Quin. “Are you planning on getting up anytime soon?”

“It’s comfy here.”

“Do you know how many feral cats have pissed in this yard?”

Matheus shot to his feet so fast he got whiplash. “You’re disgusting,” he said. He beat at the damp earth clinging to his clothes.

“Got you up. Ready to try again?”

“No. My knee hurts. I’m going to go lie down.” Matheus stomped toward the house.

Quin grabbed the back of Matheus’ shirt, and dragged him down the porch steps. A slick of ice coated the wood.

Matheus hit the edge of the last step wrong, landing flat on his back with Quin standing over him.

“Sunshine, you’re just a little awkward,” Quin said, barely trying to conceal his grin. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Matheus rolled over, pushing himself up with jerky movements. The muscles around his mouth ached; his lips pressed down into a constant glower. The temperature had dropped again, bringing the snows even closer.

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