Psychology Made Simple by Alison Thomas-Cottingham Ph.D

Author:Alison Thomas-Cottingham, Ph.D. [Thomas-Cottingham, Alison]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-43455-5
Publisher: Crown/Archetype
Published: 2004-03-12T16:00:00+00:00

Social Development

Erikson’s stage that corresponds to this period of development is called intimacy versus isolation. The challenge of this stage is to establish relationships that engender intimacy and love. Ideally, the social relationships that developed during adolescence make way for the more life-altering social relationships of early adulthood, the spousal relationship being one of the most important of these. According to William Doherty and Neil Jackson in their 1982 article “Marriage and the Family,” research indicated that ninety percent of Americans will marry at some point in their lives. People today are marrying at later ages, but according to the 1998 U.S. Census data, the average age at first marriage for women is twenty-five, and for men, twenty-seven.

The ages of couples at the time of their first marriages are up compared to 1948, when the average age for a first marriage for a woman was twenty, and for a man, twenty-three. These delays in marriage may be attributed to a woman’s decision to establish her professional identity before marriage. Expectations can also explain the delay. Women who once may have needed a husband for financial security now earn their own incomes, so they search for a man with qualities other than earning power, making the search less hurried. Similarly, men may also have different expectations. Men who once looked for women who would cook and clean for them now take care of their own household needs, so they search for women with qualities other than domestic skills. The changes in gender roles have influenced changes in mate selection and the timing of marriage.

It is also important to note that marriage is not the sole road to the intimacy that Erikson suggested we seek. Some couples, for various reasons, opt for long-term committed relationships. This type of arrangement is often seen in the elderly, where the financial penalties of marriage make cohabitation a more appealing option. This is also seen in homosexual couples, who provide another example of intimate, committed relationships outside of traditional marriage.

It is also during early adulthood that most people decide to start a family. Nancy Gibbs in a Time article “Babies vs. Careers,” dated April 15, 2002, questioned which should come first for women who want both. This article was inspired by the book Creating a Professional Life: Women and the Quest for Children by economist Sylvia Ann Hewlett, Ph.D., of Harvard University. Hewlett’s stance is that women who have to establish their careers and then wait until age thirty-five or older to have children are going to regret their decision because of the decrease in fertility. At the age of twenty, the risk of miscarriage is nine percent; it doubles by the age of thirty-five. At forty-two, ninety percent of a woman’s eggs are abnormal, and twenty-seven is the age at which a woman’s chances of becoming pregnant begin to decline.

So women are in a difficult position. Do I have children at a young age and possibly sacrifice my chance of having a career (it’s harder

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