Psychodynamic Perspectives on Working with Children, Families, and Schools by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780765709226
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Incorporated

THEORETICAL AND CLINICAL CONSIDERATIONS IN WORKING WITH CHILDREN AND MOTHERS

Differentiating between a child’s acting out as pure limit-testing, appropriate to the age, or as a communication that cannot be verbalized, is a skill that can be developed with some coaching for parents who are amenable to feedback in this area. As grown-ups, we may take for granted the ability to present ourselves adaptively to the various people and situations we encounter. This may even be seen as a sort of “healthy splitting,” which comes increasingly under our control as we mature. For children this is not such an easy task. Conscious splitting-off of affects for the sake of survival has its price, but children do not always have an alternative. It is very much in the repertoire of the “healthy” adult to protect bodily and psychological integrity through this adaptation. For this reason, children are dependent on adult caretakers to help with their “demons,” their traumas and fears. Children may split off their affect in play or drawing, but, like firemen going into a fire, they cannot help having feelings about the trauma and stressors. In general, insecure parents find their children’s negative emotions difficult to handle. They often respond negatively with aggression or by turning away. They have trouble separating themselves from the child’s fear or anger and cannot “metabolize it” with their own processes in order to give feedback that could help the child master his or her fears.

In his article, “The Psychoanalytic Theory of Play,” Robert Walder (1933) explores the function of play in relation to the playing child and the caregiving adult. He notes that “Play, as a fundamental and purposeful phenomenon, is encountered only in children, that is, during a period of growth, in which the traumata of life touch the ascending limb of the vitality curve” (Walder, p. 220). Walder implies the function of mastery in his exploration of the uses of play, but when trauma is involved, interpretation of the play by an accepting adult is important to the integration and abreaction of the traumatized feelings. His question is an interesting one: Why would a child play out a painful scene (such as going to the dentist) if play followed the “pleasure principle” as fantasizing and wish-fulfillment dreams do? His answer is that “this merging of reality and fantasy . . . makes possible the abreaction of an experience in play” (Walder, p. 221). It is the adult whom Walder feels is in “the position to help the child obtain this kind of abreaction.” In a phrase that seems to predict Winnicott’s thinking in Playing and Reality (1971), Walder says “the antithesis of play is reality, not seriousness.” (Walder, 1933, p. 223).

Attachment issues play a major role in the interface between the parent’s and child’s ability to cope with disruptions and trauma. If a parent has only marginally worked through his or her own attachment issues from childhood, the parent might have a “blind spot” with respect the child’s attachment needs and difficulties.

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