Out of the Mainstream: Helping the Children of Parents with a Mental Illness by Loshak Rosemary;

Author:Loshak, Rosemary;
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 1114664
Publisher: Taylor & Francis Group

Unfolding

Katia went to see the fireworks in the park and had been scared, terrified; unable to breathe. However, she remained until the end of the display. I asked her what had helped her manage her anxiety and she pointed at Max. Thinking about the firework experience, Katia recounted how she once was on a crowded floating platform on a beach with her sister and she got a panic attack, despite the fact that she knew how to swim. Her sister hit her. I commented on her worry that people might react to her distress with anger and violence.

Katia had been able to withstand some anxiety and felt she had done it for Max, aware that he would benefit from her not falling apart. Yet, the hope of improvement soon turned into a sense of failure as she berated herself for having felt anxious and expected to be punished for what she saw as a weakness. Katia went on to talk about the difficult birth and the emergency caesarean section for which she had not been given appropriate anaesthetics. The sense of pain being overwhelming and impossible to bear was quite clear, as was the dilemma that for Max to be born and become his own person overwhelming pain would have to be faced, and with insufficient support. In parallel, her partner revealed his depression and dependency: his daily nightmares and chronic panic attacks came increasingly to the fore, as did his difficulties with alcohol, which he used as medication. He was referred for individual work and dropped out from our own work as the couple started to disintegrate. Katia began to fight for her son. Despite still feeling suicidal, she resisted acting on her feelings.

Katia was very close to taking another overdose. She lined up all the tablets on the table, with a glass of water. She stopped herself as she remembered the doctor saying she would be admitted if she tried to harm herself again. She feared Max would be taken away.

This moment crystallised the turning point in the treatment. Katia decided to be a mother to Max. She fought herself and attempted to manage her feelings, mostly successfully. I felt increasingly that she had engaged in the work. Katia reconnected with her family, signalling her commitment to recovery. Addressing the impact of the domestic violence which she continued to deny was still impossible and restricted the help she could get at this point.

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