Psychoanalytic Couple Therapy by Scharff Jill Savege Scharff David E

Author:Scharff, Jill Savege, Scharff, David E.
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Karnac Books

The struggle in the therapy

Peter and Emily arrived for therapy after six years of marriage because this intrusive identification of abandonment was still going on. Emily now had a responsible job much like her parents and would no longer wear thigh high leather boots and little skirts, that they had both enjoyed so much before. She wanted to dress properly and think about having a family whereas Peter had moved into a more extreme form of bondage where he would be videoing himself in whole-body rubber suits or in painful clamps and cords. She refused to share in this sexual experience and their sex life dropped off. As a result, Peter, whose sexual tastes were longer exciting to her, felt abandoned again.

So they came into therapy, Peter complaining that Emily had abandoned him and Emily complaining about his fetish of needing to be completely encased in rubber. She felt that this meant that he had no real contact with her, and in this way he was abandoning her. In their engagement period they had been utterly joined together: everything was good. After years apart they had joyfully rediscovered that the person first spotted at University would be the one to make a radical transformation in their life. Setting out on making a life together, they were in a state where everything was wonderful and the future looked rosy. By the time they sought treatment, they were in a state of vitriol and embitterment in which Emily was filled with righteous indignation about him and Peter was filled with hatred and loathing, which made the ongoing therapy difficult, and eventually impossible.

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