Promises, Promises: A Romp with Plenty of Dykes, a Unicorn, an Ogre, an Oracle, a Quest, a Princess, and True Love with a Happily Ever After by Baker L-J

Author:Baker, L-J [Baker, L-J]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, mobi, epub
Publisher: Lethe Press
Published: 2011-03-30T07:00:00+00:00

The vacancy sign hanging outside the Abandon All Hope Inn squeaked as it swung gently in the breeze.

“That’s lucky,” Drusilla said. “Can you imagine travelling all this way and finding the place full?”

Sandy raked her gaze around the bleak countryside, with the ominous blackness as a smudge on the horizon, and failed to imagine any circumstances which might draw so many people that they would seriously challenge the accommodation capacity of a cottage, let alone the large two-storey inn and adjacent bunkhouse. The sign advertising “hourly rates” looked wildly optimistic.

Sandy stepped inside. As she had expected, the place was not standing room only. Behind the bar, a burly man with an eyepatch and a missing ear looked up from polishing a pewter tankard. A couple of elderly patrons played a desultory game of darts using a board made from a squashed wizard’s hat, and one man hunched in a corner beneath a no cheques accepted unless with prior approval sign.

“Hello,” Sandy said. “We’d like rooms for the night. Stabling for a pony, horse, and a unicorn. And two halves of light, a dry sherry, a port and lemon, a vodka martini—shaken, not stirred—and a gallon of wee heavy, please.”

The barman scowled past her. “We don’t serve ogres.”

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