Perversion - The Erotic Form of Hatred by Robert J. Stoller
Author:Robert J. Stoller
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00
Symbiosis Anxiety and the Development of Masculinity
In the Introduction, I noted that my thinking about perversion grew from research on the development of masculinity and femininity. This present chapter shows in more detail how the two areas of study may be related in the earliest period of life and turns to the question why most of the perversions are practiced by men, not women. The development of women, from infancy on, is certainly full of trauma, frustration, anxiety, and conflict. The state of the art of psychoanalytic explanation these days is adequate to explain why women are as perverse as men, but it does not have available an argument why they are not.
One might reach for global biological answers—males are different from females. That can always serve as an argument in lieu of specifics. But I think fuller explanation can be found in the world of interpersonal relationships, in intrapsychic dynamics, and in the study of the forces of culture; only in defeat need we fall back on the untestable—biologizing.
Although the psychoanalyst rarely has the chance to observe it, there can be too much of a good thing. We spend most of the time of our practice and theory strug-
gling with the effects of trauma, frustration, and deprivation; we know that careless, inept, minimal, or hostile mothering damages a child. But even the work of major analytic theorists who have turned our attention to more benign processes in personality development has not fully warned us of the powerful effect too much gratification can have in certain aspects of development.
The primeval symbiotic goodness both mother and infant experience may not only support but also threaten psychic development: that symbiosis, if too intense or too prolonged, can damage developing masculinity. Even the most competent mothering throws a burden on the infant male, and a mother who would try to spare her son that burden can completely submerge his innate potentials for masculinity.
Two Theories of Masculine Development
Masculinity in males, according to Freud, comes from three main sources: biological factors, primary heterosexuality (desire for mother) starting as soon after birth as the process of comprehension begins, and identification with father’s masculinity as the oedipal conflict is resolved (24). A corollary of this theory is that maleness is the superior state in the mind of mankind—the penis the more respected sexual organ and masculine ambition and achievement the more desired activities for both sexes. Another is that women are inferior, for they have inferior genitals, and from the start they are homosexually oriented, their first love being of the same sex (33).
In chapter 2,1 noted my belief that this theory is partly wrong in that the second source noted above—males’ primary heterosexuality—needs correcting. More than anything else, the mother-infant symbiosis measures the mistake.
Let us run through the theory briefly once more, adding this factor of symbiosis. While it is true that the infant boy’s first love object is his mother, there is an earlier phase in which he is merged with her before she exists
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