Perfectly Imperfect: Compassionate Strategies to Cultivate a Positive Body Image by Harman LMFT CEDS Amy

Author:Harman LMFT CEDS, Amy [Harman LMFT CEDS, Amy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rockridge Press
Published: 2020-08-11T00:00:00+00:00

Your Value System

In a separate notebook or journal, write down the names of five people you admire. They can be living or dead, but they must be real people who live(d) on Earth (sorry, Wonder Woman can’t be on your list). Next, write down the qualities these people possess that you admire. You can include as many as you like.

This may take some time, so don’t rush it. Once you have completed these tasks, consider these questions:

• What do the bodies of these people look like?

• Do any of the people on your list have qualities in common? Go back through your list and see whether you notice any similarities or overlap.

• As you look through your list of qualities, what are the values that you hold for yourself? You likely find most of these qualities important and strive to have more of them in your life.

• If you have a relationship with anyone on your list, what is it that keeps the relationship together? Add it to your list if it’s not already there.

• What are some of these qualities that you’d like to have in your own life? Circle the top three qualities that you would most like to develop.

When you consider the physical bodies of the people you admire, what did you notice? Did anyone make the list because they have amazing abs or some other ideal of beauty? Or were your reasons more about inner qualities like loyalty, kindness, generosity, diligence, intelligence, or a willingness to help others? Most people will have written down only inner qualities. If you find that you have a lot of physical attributes on your list, you may have more difficulty letting go of the need for an ideal body. That’s okay, but you may want to look through the list and see if you can pinpoint some inner qualities you admire.

Now think about what these five people look like. Are their bodies perfect? Do they look like the world’s ideal of beauty? I doubt it. I’ve never had a client, or anyone in an audience I’ve presented to, identify five people with bodies that fit our culture’s “ideal” beauty standard. Just as the people you admire are more notable for what’s on the inside, people will admire and respect you more for what you do than what you look like. Using our bodies as instruments of love and service is much more admirable than how they appear physically.

TIP: What Is Your Legacy?

This may sound a bit morbid, but stick with me here. Think about what you would like people to say about you at your funeral and write it down. How do you want to be remembered? This will help you identify what you value most in life. (I’m guessing it’s not going to be about your physical body!)

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