Only Truth by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Epub3
Publisher: Penzler Publishers

There are other flowers in the room. A vase of white lilies sit by the window, their funeral scent competing with Matthew’s bouquet. The long-stemmed anthers have dropped pollen onto my new gray carpet, making a stain like bile. I don’t like them at all. They’re coffin flowers for the dead, all lifeless waxy perfection.

I try getting out of bed to move them but as I stand up my legs turn to water and my head spins. They’ll have to wait for Tom.

Later when I wake Tom is sitting by the bed. He has Matthew’s card in his hand. When he sees I’m awake he hastily returns it to the bedside table where it belongs. He looks vaguely guilty and suddenly I feel sorry for him. I stretch out my hand to him.

“Hey.”

He takes my hand in his and this time I don’t pull away.

“Oh Izzy,” he says, “I’ve been so worried about you. I’m so sorry.”

I’m not sure what he’s sorry for; it’s not his fault I was ill.

“Why are you sorry silly, you didn’t make me ill.”

I try to smile but my lips are cracked and dry. I must look a sight.

“I know but I’ve thought about what you said and you’re right. I made us come here and everything’s gone wrong, so it is my fault. I’m meant to look after you.”

Please Tom, after all I said don’t you get it? It isn’t your job to look after me. We should be partners, equals. I don’t say this, he looks so tired.

Instead I ask, “Who are the lilies from?”

“Madeline dropped them round. She’s visited a couple of times to check how you are. She’s been really concerned, which is sweet considering what she’s going through.”

I imagine her in my house with Tom, all silk shirts and pert nipples, while I’ve been up here in bed. It doesn’t sit well with me and I feel a little of my kindness seeping away.

“What is she going through?” I ask and I hear the arch tone to my voice despite my best intentions.

“Joe has moved out. Remember I told you they were having problems, well apparently he’s left. I don’t think it’s permanent, more a trial separation to see if they’re better apart.”

I don’t say anything other than “That’s sad,” but a little part of me finds it a bit unusual that Joe’s the one who’s gone. I thought he was the would-be abuser and I thought the abused usually fled. I remember the scarf and fleetingly wonder how long ago it was that he left. I don’t want her lilies in the room.

“Tom, please could you take the lilies down with you when you go. I don’t like the smell and they’re spoiling the carpet.”

He looks at me and suddenly asks, “Who is Matthew?”

“My friend,” I reply, “you know, like Madeline is yours.”

He looks like I’ve slapped him and I regret saying it. He’s not a bad person and neither am I, so I mustn’t act like one.

“I’m sorry,” I say, “that was petty.

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