One Take Only by Lynsey M. Stewart

Author:Lynsey M. Stewart [Stewart, Lynsey M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-11-14T00:00:00+00:00

16

Will

I took Margot home, ensuring she was safe and assuring her that I’d be in touch. To her credit, she told me not to worry, said she thought I was too reserved for her and as I left her propping her front door open with her angled hip and crossed arms, she shouted after me, asking if I’d realised that I was deeply in love with Skye. I smiled and said I’d never been surer about anything in my life.

I thought about going back to Brighton, I could have done it in ninety minutes, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to face Skye again, not until I’d sorted through the pockets of detail from the night, trying to make sense of them before they all blurred together again.

Instead, I went back to my flat and distracted myself by talking bullshit with Gavin, who was still awake and preparing for the senior journalist interview. He’d been working on some photographs, pulling together a portfolio to share during the process. Tension formed across my shoulders and anxiety settled into my stomach. I’d had the call inviting me for an interview but hadn’t even started preparing for it. Bigger distractions were on my mind, but I joined him for the night, setting up my laptop and sharing boxed noodles, talking about the awkwardness of going for the same position until I woke in the morning, finding myself still on the sofa, a chopstick resting on my chest.

I didn’t just find a chopstick that morning. I found loneliness and despair, an ache I knew would never shift and a need to shut down the web of thoughts that contracted from driving to Brighton and telling Skye I loved her – had done from the first insult – to wondering if scientists had invented a way of cleansing my brain, wiping it clean, re-setting the factory settings so to speak, and making it devoid of emotion.

I also found a text message from Margot, telling me the studio had unexpectedly become free at the weekend. She asked me to let Skye know, and I asked her to make contact herself. Skye called not long after. Letting it go to voicemail, I listened to her message immediately.

“We’ve got the studio on Saturday night. Margot just called. She’s had a cancellation. I was just calling to…erm…well, to ask if you still wanted to be part of this. Let me know…OK. Talk soon.”

My head was telling me to call her. I didn’t think I could cope with another round of let’s–forget–what–happened–between–us and every atom in my body was telling me to end this shit, before it ended me. But this time, the stakes were high, higher than ever. Before, she always lifted me up, but I was beginning to wonder if we were just getting too fucking heavy.

My head couldn’t compute. The ability to think had vanished along with my sensibility. I decided on a shower and a couple of rounds of coffee before I could even attempt a conversation with her.

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