Oh God, the Sun Goes by David Connor

Author:David Connor [Connor, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Melville House
Published: 2023-08-02T00:00:00+00:00

XIII.

AND AT THE CENTER OF THE HEART, A MEMORY ARISES THROUGH THE HEAT OF FEELING

from the depths of Solar Plexus, an image emerges, appearing through the shifting glass of refracted time.

In a home we both lived in, I see M lying there, in the middle of a carpeted floor dyed jade with lamplight. She’s lying there sideways, and her eyes are torn from the pages of a book which she holds open in her left hand.

M, I mutter, seeing her face clearly now. Her two eyes stare up at me, exactly as eyes would, as two balls of light reflecting the bright color of the room. I can see the rest of her face too, her nose and mouth made equally bright from the lampshade.

A metal stud appears through the upper portion of her right eyebrow, and I notice a small metal ball at the end of it, like a disco ball reflecting the bright light of the room and sending it in fractals across the wall. The house is exactly as I remembered it, except that there isn’t any furniture around, just the carpeted floor and the lampshade in the corner.

I look at M and see her look up at me. Her face appears clearly once again. Below her left eye, I notice the lines of an ink tattoo traced in a small familiar shape. A line marking the image of a luna moth, a scattering of dots strewn across the back of its wings like decoy eyes, like a form of camouflage to distract predators. Moth, I mutter, and watch it change shape in the reflection of light from the corner. M blinks and a memory comes surfacing back through the refraction of space. M and I lived in this house, I remember now. We lived here together some time ago.

I lean down and bend myself closer towards her. The texture of carpet on my hand creates the sensation of sinking, of falling deeper into feeling and out of thought. Into the warm clutches of felt memory, that old surface whose edges have no hem. For a moment, sight eludes the space around me, and I fall into that warm spot below my heart again, Solar Plexus, the center of the peripheral nervous system.

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