MYTH Alliances by Robert Asprin

Author:Robert Asprin
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Fantasy - General, Magicians, Fantasy fiction, Fiction - Fantasy, Fiction, Fantasy, American, Skeeve (Fictitious character), General
ISBN: 9780441011827
Publisher: Ace Books
Published: 2004-07-26T04:00:00+00:00

EIGHTEEN

"Finding yourself takes a long time,

and costs a lot of money."

—s. FREUD

Cresting the top of a hill on the street that led away from

the jail, I could not immediately spot Zol Icty. There was

too much of a crowd. Down near the small bistro were a

thousand or more Scammies. They were all sitting or lying

down on the blue-green grass on the bank, facing the center, where our little gray man sat at a table furnished with a

teapot, a cup and saucer, and lofty stacks of his latest book.

Every one of the audience members seemed to be in a

blissful trance, smiling vacantly. The thin voice of our

companion rose and fell in a sing-song tone. The heads

nodded in unison when he spoke.

"... Once you have really looked inside yourself and

know who you really are, you can begin to understand the

wonder that is you. You need no artificial stimulants or devices to enhance the very you-ness of you. You have but to

face your reality, and be satisfied with it. It doesn't matter

if your acquaintances have riches or opportunities that you

lack—you have your identity, your uniqueness, and that is

more precious than gold, more interesting than any false

storyteller. Be true to yourselves."

Eyelids fluttering, Bunny let out a huge sigh. Groaning,

I led my friends down toward Zol. If there was anything

more painful than realizing his advice was off-kilter, it was

listening to his mumbo-jumbo. In my opinion it was the

verbal equivalent of illusions, disguising the reality underneath. But people seemed to respond to it. The rapt expressions were as fixed as anything I'd seen in hypnosis

subjects.

Halfway down the slope I noticed that the site was surrounded by dozens of police officers. I skirted them nervously. They, too, were smiling contentedly. I spotted

Officers Gelli and Koblinz. They saluted me pleasantly

when I caught their eye. I knew they could not recognize

me in my disguise, but it made me nervous all the same.

They, too, had become true to themselves once again. I

couldn't wait for Zol to finish autographing copies of his

book so we could get out of Scamaroni for good, and leave

our problems behind—or at least 80 percent of them.

"Madam," Senior Domari repeated wearily, "we cannot

produce that witness. I know you want to confront him.

You can't. Now, I ask you again to explain how it is that

two of your number escaped from this facility last night,

but there were still eight of you in the cells this morning?"

"Sonny," Vergetta countered, "All I want to do is go

home. What'll it take?"

"I wish I could pitch all of you into a bottomless pit, but

I am required to follow the rule of law."

"Pitch us! It'd be better than spending another night in

your pokey! I've been more comfortable in college dormitories!"

"Perverts," the judge muttered.

"Pervects," Vergetta corrected him. "We have a right to

be addressed properly, your honor."

"I'm not sure the word doesn't apply," Domari retorted.

"I've heard some ugly things about Perverts."

"It's an ugly universe," Vergetta replied philosophically.

"You don't want us staying here, judge. Look at the condition of your jail. And if we can slip in and out of here without detection, well, you can't keep us here against our

will.

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