My Weirder-est School #4: Miss Blake Is a Flake! by Dan Gutman

Author:Dan Gutman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollinsPublishers
Published: 2019-12-13T00:00:00+00:00

“Hey, if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen,” barked Miss Blake.

Huh? We weren’t in a kitchen. What did kitchens have to do with anything?*

“I saved Mr. Dummy’s life,” barked Miss Blake. “He’s breathing again.”

“Yay!” everybody shouted, even though we all knew Mr. Dummy was never breathing in the first place.

“What do you do if somebody breaks an arm?” barked Miss Blake.

“Kiss the boo-boo and put a Band-Aid on it?” Emily guessed.

“No!” barked Miss Blake. “What do you do if a tree falls on somebody’s head and knocks them unconscious?”

“Punch the tree’s face in?” I guessed.

“No! What do you do if somebody’s bleeding out of their eyeballs? What do you do if somebody accidentally swallows a stapler? What do you do if somebody’s leg falls off?”

“None of those things is going to happen,” said Ryan.

“How do you know?” barked Miss Blake. “Stranger things have happened. Did I tell you about the time I was attacked by a bear?”

“Yes,” we all replied. “You punched its face in.”

“That’s right!”

Miss Blake taught us what to do in case a coconut falls out of a tree and lands on your head. She taught us what to do in case anybody falls into a pit filled with poisonous snakes. She taught us what to do in case you get a squirrel stuck in your mouth. Andrea was taking notes the whole time.

“Okay, I think you kids are prepared for our overnight,” barked Miss Blake. “I will see you in the school parking lot Saturday at one o’clock! Don’t be late!”

Then we all got on the floor and did the Beaver Growl.

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