My Name's Yours, What's Alaska? by Alaska Thunderfuck 5000

Author:Alaska Thunderfuck 5000 [5000, Thunderfuck Alaska]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Chronicle Books LLC
Published: 2021-11-15T00:00:00+00:00

EIGHTEEN

We Are the Misfits

Sharon and I were always together. Our schedules were exactly the same, all the time. Season three of Drag Race aired on Monday nights, and for us, it was the part of the week we looked forward to the most. Every Monday we had a viewing party over at Veruca’s, and all our friends came. We would smoke cigarettes and drink beers, watching in awe of all the queens’ beauty and polish.

The season three queens were gorgeous, untouchable goddesses to Veruca and Sharon, but to me, they were more of the girls I had worked with in L.A. The difference was, girls like Raja were good enough to make the cut, and I was decidedly not good enough. Raja, Manila Luzon, and Yara Sofia were living the Hollywood dream life I had wanted so badly. They seemed so far away, so elevated, so distant from the gritty, grimy Drag of Pittsburgh.

Veruca and Sharon had long ago made a pact that neither of them would ever audition for Drag Race. “The only way any of us will have real success as Drag queens is if we move to New York,” Sharon often said.

We had all toyed with the idea at some point in our lives. New York was the shining beacon on the hill, far off in the distance. But what I didn’t know was that Sharon and Veruca had more than talked about it; they had really planned on getting their shit together and moving to New York. They’d even begun saving up money together. Then I showed up in Pittsburgh and inserted myself into the situation, derailing their plans.

Sharon and I talked a lot about New York. I felt very much against it; I was still trying to get my life back on track, because I had really bottomed out in L.A. Moving to another big city was a bad idea to me. If I couldn’t make it in L.A., there was no chance I was making it in New York. Besides, we had something great at Blue Moon; why would we want to leave it?

One night we did a show at Brillobox, all dressed as the Misfits, the villainous music group counterpart to Jem and the Holograms. Veruca was Pizzazz, Cherri was Roxy, and I was Stormer. Our photographer friend Caldwell dressed as Jem. Sharon was hungover and wasn’t in the mood to go out. It must have been a full moon.

I’d never gone out with the girls without Sharon before. Cherri and I had never been in the same room together without Sharon. Sharon sucks up a lot of energy in a room, so it was fun to get to know the girls on a different wavelength. We performed a couple of Runaways covers, because all the actual Misfits songs were terrible. But we had a good time. After our set we decided to go to another bar, Belvedere’s, which was hosting their weekly ’80s night. We walked up to the door, and the bouncer asked for our IDs.

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