Murder, Suicide Or Natural Causes? by Richard Reason II

Author:Richard Reason II [II, Richard Reason]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781462036530
Publisher: iUniverse
Published: 2012-01-13T00:00:00+00:00

Fore!

There are few things I enjoy in life as much as golf. However, it hasn’t always been so. During my internship, the chief clinician suggested that I take up the sport.

“Rex, all doctors play golf, you need to learn the game. What else will you do with your Thursdays off?” Dr. Garrett questioned.

I thought he was nuts; the idea of hitting a little ball with a stick, then spending ten minutes trying to find it while simultaneously being berated by your companions seemed ludicrous. Nevertheless, I did as Dr. Garrett suggested. I began by spending two hundred dollars for clubs, and eighty dollars for shoes. I refused to consider the funny plaid pants and matching hat. I do have a little dignity after all.

I joined my classmates on the golf course every day during lunch breaks for a ‘quick nine holes.’ My friends really seemed to enjoy my attempts at swinging the club. Oh, I was good at swinging the club, but hitting the ball was a different subject.

For the first month, I had the honor of being able to loft dirt and grass chunks fifty feet. The ball was always safe from my attempted assaults. I realized just how bad I was when one day I noticed everyone hiding behind the golf cart when it was my turn. True, I had accidentally launched my club down the fairway more than once, and sent more than a few clumps of earth flying in the direction of my partner, but I’d never really hurt anyone. Lessons were clearly in order.

“Whoa, you have quite a swing,” my instructor commented during my first lesson.

“You have quite a swing” was not a compliment. It was a polite way of saying, “Let me hide over here behind the cart while you try to murder that tiny, defenseless ball.” Once again I realized how really awful I was at the sport when the instructor suggested, “Why don’t we move way over here, so you don’t kill the other students.”

After ten lessons, I still wanted to quit, but I’m cheap. I had way too much money wrapped up in paraphernalia. By now, I actually had two pair of the funny plaid pants and four matching shirts. Therefore, I endured.

Golf taught me that God has a sense of humor. After playing just six months, and in front of witnesses I had to bribe later not to tell the exact circumstances, my day of glory had arrived. Two hundred and fifty yards away was a tiny hole in the ground, my objective. I slowly swung the club—whack. It sounded beautiful. For once, I hadn’t scooped grass into orbit. I could hear the gasps of my party as the ball, at about the speed of light, sliced toward a stand of tall trees. Whack, whack it ricocheted from tree to tree and then back toward the green. To my utter amazement, it dropped into the tiny hole in the ground. Disbelief spread like a virus through my group.

“Did you see that?” Tony, the par golfer, stammered.

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