Mundis Mori: A LitRPG Adventure by Coke Justin & Coke Justin

Author:Coke, Justin & Coke, Justin [Coke, Justin]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Severed Press
Published: 2017-04-19T16:00:00+00:00

The next morning, they ate —croquet madams sitting around the marble kitchen island, wonderfully tasty but perhaps a little heavy since most of them were still recovering from taco intoxication. Kid Twist was already in his makeup, or maybe he’d slept in it. The rest of them were barely in underwear.

“I can’t believe you play a Paladin like that,” Tick Tock said.

“Fourthth edition rules. Paladins aren’t just cardboard cutout good guys, I have a specific god that I worship, and my behavior is judged by that god, not you.”

“Yes, but why in the fuck did you pick Ayn Rand to be your god?”

“Because, darling,” Mad Hatter said with a smirk, “watching you all get pissed at me was hilarious.”

“You tried to charge the peasants to get rid of the monster.”

“Why should I risk my life for them?”

“Because you’re a fucking paladin!”

“A paladin of reason. Paladins of reason get paid for their efforts or they fuck off to find someone who values their labor enough to pay for it. Hey, they came up with the money, they were just pretending to be poor to sucker us into working for free. Fucking commies.”

Tick Tock sipped her coffee and glared at him over the steam.

“I thought it was funny,” Hayes said, and paused. “At first.”

“It did get a little old,” Kid Twist said. “And they were actually that poor. I just invented the money to get you to shut up.”

“I admit, I didn’t think I was coming up with such a goldmine, but it just kept coming up. I never really thought about Objectivism in the context of Dungeons and Dragons, but it really conflicts with the whole concept of dopey MacGyver heroism inherent in D&D.”[148]“And where are you going with this?” Kid Twist said.

“Nowhere good,” Mad Hatter said. “But I’m having fun.”

“We’ll deal with it if we go back to it,” Kid Twist said.

“I don’t want to go back to it until we deal with it,” Tick Tock said. “I don’t want to spend four hours listening to him act like a prick and make jokes that I assume only make sense if you read her books because they sure as shit didn’t make sense to me. Why is asking everyone we meet if they’ve seen John Galt funny?”

“You haven’t read Atlas Shrugged?” Mad Hatter said. “It’s a classic.”

“I tried, once,” Hayes said. “It read like the Thing trying to write a novel.”

“I liked it,” Mad Hatter said, defensive.

“Well, whatever, I’m not playing D&D so you can turn everything into some weird philosophy standup routine,” Tick Tock said, almost yelling.

“Okau, I’m sorry,” Mad Hatter said, genuinely abashed. “I thought everyone was having fun.”

Tick Tock glanced at the floor. “It was kind of funny,” she said. “But no more, you know? One-time gag.”

“Okay, I assume I can switch gods?”

“Not really in the rules, but if I was following the rules I probably wouldn’t have let you pick Ayn Rand as a deity anyway, so sure.”

“It’s settled then. I’m converting to Asmodeanism.”[149]Kid Twist took a big, angry bite of his croque madam and exhaled out of his nose.

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