Mortimer & Whitehouse by Bob Mortimer

Author:Bob Mortimer
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Blink Publishing
Published: 2019-03-18T16:00:00+00:00

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU’RE STANDING AROUND WITH A LIVE FISH

Once you’ve brought the net containing a fish to the edge of the river, you’re going to want to see what you’ve got and then you’re going to prepare that fish to return home.

Fish love water more than they love hot, dry air. That’s a well-known fact, so it’s important to put them back in the water as swiftly as you can. Every second counts (if a fish caught you, you’d want to be put back in as quickly as possible). The longer a fish is out of the water, the less chance it has of surviving, so it’s important to return them as quickly as you can back into their murky underworld kingdom in which no man can dwell. Most anglers are pathological about treating fish carefully and returning them as quickly as possible. Many anglers use unhooking mats, which are fish-friendly surfaces designed to keep the fish safe during the process. Carp fishers are especially aware of their quarry’s well-being and look after them obsessively, even though carp and tench can survive out of the water a lot longer than other species. I’m fanatical about returning fish almost immediately; sometimes during our series the cameraman rarely has time to get a shot of the fish before I’ve sent it on its way. It rarely has time to get a selfie with me. Salmon fishers on the River Dee in Scotland (and probably many other rivers) are now encouraged to net salmon and keep them in the net while they unhook them so they never leave the river. Then you hold the fish with its head upstream in the current as it regains its breath before… pow! The salmon kicks away with an incredibly powerful flick of its tail and roars back on its mission to well, you know … How can I put this? Procreate.

Dry human hands can cause all sorts of problems to fish, from abrasions to rubbing off their protective slime coating, leaving them open to infection. So before you touch them, always dunk your hands in the river or lake and make sure they’re wet.

Once the fish is out, what you’re going to do is remove the hook from the fish’s mouth. This is the very first thing you need to do, and you want to do it as quickly as possible. Barbless hooks come out very easily – you can do it most of the time with your hand, just by backing it out the way it went in – but be careful when you’re handling the fish, as one unexpected flick or wriggle and you’ll be wearing that hook through the fleshy part of your hand. If you’re nervous of doing it by hand, you can use needle-nosed pliers to slip it out.

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