Men of the Year by Colleen McMillan

Author:Colleen McMillan [McMillan, Colleen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781950502141
Publisher: Willow River Press
Published: 2019-10-07T16:00:00+00:00

December

Dark Tan Dan and Rule Number Seven: Orange is a perfectly natural skin color.

Minnesota winters are harsh. It takes a special person to survive. I trick-or-treated in a Cinderella costume during a blizzard, I drove two hundred miles in sleet just to visit my cousin in Des Moines a few Januarys ago, and I run outside, until the snow gets too deep.

October doesn’t see much snowfall, and November can be more windy than snowy, but December is when Mr. Frost kicks things in gear. The first morning after a snowy night is exquisite. The trees are spray-painted sparkly white, the ground covered in pristine crystals, unless an early dog walker sullies it. The clear sky is stuck in time, the clouds barely moving or not present at all. We’ll be sick of the snow by January, but that one miraculous morning glows in our memories until Christmas.

Once New Years is past, the snow should be gone. Holiday festivities scream for snow, and a Christmastime without the white blanket seems alien, but after the presents are opened and the Auld Land Synes sung, there shouldn’t be more snow. The snow angel’s novelty has passed. The snowmen droop and lose their shapes. The icicles dangle precariously overhead like Damocles’ sword, waiting to impale those caught unawares. Don’t laugh. I’ve seen it.

But now it’s December, and that first bedazzling snowfall has graced the Cities. I thank God that I have underground parking. The plow drivers don’t mess around. If you’re parked on the wrong side of the street, they’ll tow your ass. The magic of the holidays.

Keeley calls me before I go to work, knowing that I get a new assignment today. She wants to spring the next guy on me before I get bad news from Kelly—another romance novel.

“Hey babe! How was your Thanksgiving?”

“Uncomfortable and belligerent. Yours?”

“Fine. My mom made nothing, thank baby Jesus. She let the cook handle things this year.” Keeley’s mother is a famously terrible cook. The last time I ate her food I couldn’t get off the toilet for three hours. I feel jealous that her mother can relinquish control.

“So, what’s the bad news? I know you’ve got the next guy lined up and ready for slaughter.”

“Don’t worry. He’s not like the last one. And for the record, I was against setting you up with Sam. Alicia thought he was charmingly aloof, but every picture on the site showed his cats. I’m all for cats,” she adds, hoping not to offend me, “but one is enough.”

“Hear, hear,” I say and ruffle Prospero’s ears. He flips over and tries to bite my fingers. “Try for someone normal this time.”

“I picked this one! His name is Dan something, an architect!”

“That sounds promising.” People who build stuff can’t be that nuts right? They wouldn’t let crazies design skyscrapers, would they? “Any other info? Or do I have to research I.M. Pei?”

“He’s sooooo interesting! He sailed across the Atlantic, went zip-lining in the rainforest, and drove on the wrong side of the road in England!”

“He’s well-traveled.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.