Managing Family Meltdown by Woodcock Linda;Mcdonnell Andrew;Page Andrea;

Author:Woodcock, Linda;Mcdonnell, Andrew;Page, Andrea;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Published: 2014-04-15T00:00:00+00:00

Helping your child

• Be prepared and be careful how you respond to the behaviour which is a natural part of growing up.

• Use pictures or symbols to help your child understand appropriate time and place.

• Don’t be afraid to seek help from professionals and other parents; remember you are not the only parent to have faced these problems.

Chapter 3

The Low Arousal Approach

Low arousal’

The low arousal approach is the cornerstone of the Studio III method of managing distressed behaviour. The approach gives a framework for managing your child. It is an approach which, in some ways, is counterintuitive in that it goes against most of the rules we have for parenting children and young people. It starts with us looking how we operate around the young person. It questions all our assumptions and examines our values and beliefs, and forces us to look inward and take control of the way we react and respond to distressed behaviour. Therefore, it does not come easy. It is worth persevering; remember, it is a skill like any other and therefore it has to be practised!

From experience, both personal and working with families, most of the conflict comes from differences of opinion on how to handle and react to the distressed behaviour our children have. As we have said before we cannot stress too strongly the importance of working as a team: only by supporting each other and having a consistent approach can we make progress. Do you recognize some of the following beliefs?

‘He should be “made” to understand when he has done something wrong.’

‘It’s not fair on the other children that he who challenges takes up the most of our time.’

‘I shouldn’t let him get away with it.’

‘If I back down then I will have lost face and will not be able to assert myself in the future.’

‘I shouldn’t let him win.’

‘She knows exactly what she is doing.’

‘I shouldn’t give him what he wants because it is rewarding distressed behaviour.’

‘She shouldn’t behave like this.’

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