Mad for a Mate by MaryJanice Davidson

Author:MaryJanice Davidson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Published: 2022-03-21T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 34

The expected rap at the door was late by a good half hour. Her pulse jumped, and she had to force herself not to scamper across the room like she was anxious to see him. She opened the door to see Magnus Berne holding a small grocery bag. Vodka? Underwear? Both?

“If that’s full of condoms and Benadryl, I’m gonna be upset.”

“No need.” He tipped the bag so she could see inside: Ding Dongs, Little Debbie Swiss Rolls, and chocolate Zingers.

“All right, I might have a tiny weakness for chocolate snack cakes in all shapes and sizes that can be stored for years and still enjoyed. Sue me. But come in first.”

Magnus complied, because he was like a vampire that way: he’d only come in if invited, and sometimes not even then. Conversely, he would come when no invitation had been tendered, because the guy lived for memorials, apparently. And she hadn’t forgotten how he couldn’t refer to Annette and Lila as friends. Their fond exasperation when he did it (or, rather, didn’t) was telling.

“Zinger?”

“No. I dinna understand, you’ve got this gourmet sniffer—”

“I’ve got a what?”

He made a vague gesture toward her face. “You sniff things for a living. But you eat junk.”

“Both those things can be true without it being weird.”

He grinned. “Disagree.”

“Well. For example, I can tell you the difference between Gorgonzola and Stilton, and whether the blue veins are caused by Penicillium roqueforti or Penicillium glaucum, but guess what? I fucking hate blue cheese. I dunno who in history said, ‘You know what would be delish? Moldy cheese,’ but they were unhinged, Magnus, deeply, thoroughly unhinged.”

“Ah.”

“And don’t get me started on pâté. Just because I appreciate the difference between liverwurst and foie gras doesn’t mean I want to chow down on either. Again: Who woke up one day and said, ‘We should grind up the organ that filters urine and spread it on crackers’? And why weren’t they driven out of their village? My point being, hit me with some Zingers, baby! What? Stop laughing, I’m being serious.”

“I know. That’s why it’s funny.”

“I’m already regretting my impromptu invitation. Now I’m going to give you an unnecessary tour, because this apartment is the ‘open floor plan’ plan and what you see is what you get. My duties as hostess are limited, but I’m bound to them, so. Kitchen with weirdly deep cupboards so I never know what I have because my arm isn’t long enough to hit the back of the cupboard. So I only go elbow-deep, except sometimes when I’m putting away the Cocoa Pebbles other stuff gets shoved to the back, and that’s why I need a chair and a flashlight to make my grocery list, which is why I never make a grocery list.”

“That seems t’be the best way to handle the problem.”

“Hold all questions and comments to the end of the tour, please. Dining room, which is just an open room with a table smack in the middle and no walls, so is it even a room? And is a card table I got at a garage sale even a table? Yes.

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