Love Found and Lost by Kim Vui

Author:Kim Vui
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Texas Tech University Press
Published: 2022-01-22T00:40:51+00:00

11 Nguyen Van Thieu, born in Phan Rang of the central region, eventually outmaneuvered Nguyen Cao Ky to become president of the Second Republic of Viet Nam in 1967 and achieved reelection in 1971. He departed Saigon for England in 1975 and later relocated to the Boston area in America, where he died in 2001.

Chapter 9:

Adjustments

Arriving home after a futile wait at the Cam Ly airfield, leaving my car by the back entrance and entering through the kitchen, I found my family at the dinner table. Upon their seeing me, their conversation withered to anxious whispers. Denying them any opportunity for questions, I very quickly asked their allowance for some quiet time, all by myself, and so went directly to my room. I would have walked right through anyone who might have thought to slow me. Alone, I lay upon my bed, wrapped my arms around the long Vietnamese pillow, and allowed myself unwitnessed tears. I simply wanted to completely drain all emotion. Later, some other day, I could think about what had just happened. At the moment, I only wanted to staunch my bleeding heart.

However, I could not but wonder how close we might have been to bridging a wide chasm of misunderstanding. A matter of a minute or two, had he not been so quick to leave, or had my reaction not been slow, could have made a difference, but luck does not favor the indecisive. I sobbed without respite, and as I never have since. Hours later I woke, exhausted, but determined to make a new beginning. I would never again consider blaming myself. It was Frank who had been careless of our love. He was the one who walked away. I would bury, deep within, a bitter memory of his making the choice to break my heart, with no fair chance for me to speak, to maybe help him through a dark place and time. I would never see him again. Meanwhile, I had a duty to family, my children and my parents. I needed to preserve my sanity. I would move on.

I spent the next day completely focused on my children, deciding that the two boys best remain in Dalat to continue school with familiar teachers and classmates while I would bring my first child, daughter Le Thu, with me to attend school in Saigon. On the following morning, my mother and I shopped early for fresh Dalat vegetables and strawberries, then we were on our way back to Saigon, a journey of six hours by road.

I resumed a full schedule of nightclub singing, with one significant difference. The previous occasional appearance of Frank, or one of his friends, and my greetings and conversations with them, made clear to regular club and restaurant attendees that I was already committed, promised by myself to another, and so was absolutely unobtainable. Now I was at risk of embarrassment by importunate customers. Many followed me from one venue to the next. And, abandoned by one American—I am sorry to confess—I felt something like hatred for all others.

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