Living an Examined Life by James Hollis

Author:James Hollis
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sounds True

Chapter 12

What Is the Bigger Picture for You?

Our pictures of self and world are framed early, and as we have demonstrated, we seldom see a world larger than our frame allows. And yet, this is precisely why we have to come to recognize, respect, and dialogue with the other autonomous centers of intelligence within each of us that are wise in their ways and also invested in our well-being. This means the almighty ego has to realize that it is not really the master of the house, that there are many agencies that go bump in the night, many organs of special interest that play out their agendas, and equally that there are many healing mechanisms at work in the daily recalibrations of the organism as it seeks to survive and prevail in this world. Such mechanisms include dreams and symptoms — both autonomous, qualitative expressions of the psyche with which a genuine, respectful, and humble dialogue can lead to a much greater amplitude of vision, as well as a deeper, richer experience of the unfolding mystery of our own being.

When we consider “What is the bigger picture for me?” what comes up on the screen most often is: “Can I get the mortgage paid, the kids through school, find some partner to make my life whole, achieve a sense of satisfaction and well-being?” Where do we stand in relationship to the larger in our life, given that our complexes, our protective mechanisms, are driven by small concerns — important surely, but still small in the larger schemata of life.

When we reflect on the larger picture for our parents, what comes up? Do we find, for example, that our worries, concerns, preoccupations, and obsessive behaviors are the same and replicate their anxieties? If so, did we not just acquire them by internalizing their examples? Do we find our parental models were naturally caught in the questions and values of their time, leaving aside for the moment whether we are equally caught in the questions and values of our time? For example, for most of our parents, the power and role of the collective was much more influential than in our time. For them, exclusion from collective expectations was a form of hell. So whatever our parents thought, longed for, and suffered, most of them carried on in daily silence. When there were aberrations, such as people of different faiths marrying, people of different races mingling, or people of alien values expressing themselves, there was a generalized reaction and always, always intimidating judgments.

More recently, a nationally known woman told our mutual friend that she would not attend a class or lecture at the Jung Center because one of her children had seen a Jungian analyst in couples therapy and . . . got a divorce! In other words, no consideration of what might be best for the soul of her adult child, let alone the child’s right to their own decision even entering her purview. According to this woman, the role of the therapist was to keep the couple together, perhaps at all costs.

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