LIFE IS NOT A GAME OF PERFECT by DR. BOB ROTELLA

Author:DR. BOB ROTELLA
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: SIMON & SCHUSTER
Published: 2003-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

The questions I get when I lecture or appear on a radio call-in show suggest that a lot of people don’t understand this. I see a world where people routinely cripple themselves because of lack of confidence. I see a world where people with fine skills postpone taking on challenges and pursuing their dreams because they tell themselves they’re not ready yet. Yet I’m almost always asked not about the lack of confidence but about the dangers of overconfidence. People want to know how I cope with all the big egos I work with, as if there were something inherently wrong with having a big ego. People love to hear success stories, but for some reason they tend not to like people who are highly successful. They express this dislike by asking about overconfidence.

My answer is that there is no such thing as overconfidence.

I like working with big egos, because a big ego implies that an individual can see himself accomplishing big things. If he can, that makes my job easier.

I often have to remind athletes to be wary of the usual public reaction to healthy confidence. People tend to label healthy confidence as overconfidence. If an athlete listens to them, he can start to doubt his own good attitude. He can adopt an inappropriate humility that undermines his skills. He can become the kind of kid who costs his team a game because he won’t take the open shot with seconds left to play, thinking that the crowd would consider him immodest for wanting that shot.

To be sure, I’ve seen cases of false confidence. There are indeed people who lack skills and competence, who fail to prepare, and who then try to put up a positive facade. They mouth confident platitudes to justify their laziness. There are runners who don’t train but go to the starting line telling their competition they’re going to blow their doors off. There are salespeople who don’t prepare for sales meetings but walk in with a swagger and a big smile. There are students who don’t bother to study for exams but tell their friends they’re going to pull an A.

Such people, once the time comes to perform, generally can’t maintain their facades. They start to sweat. They tighten up. They choke. Because they know, deep inside, that they haven’t prepared themselves. They have no reason to feel confident.

And I’ve seen cases of arrogance. There are, unfortunately, athletes and performers in every field who mistakenly think that their skill and success somehow make them bigger, better, and more important than mere mortals. They haven’t learned to rein their confidence in once they step off the course or out of the courtroom. They’re obnoxious to the people around them.

But I’ve never seen someone who’s put in the time and the work to attain competence who then ruins his performance by being overconfident. The more confidence a performer has during a performance, the better he is likely to perform.

Consider, for example, a concert pianist. Let’s assume he is not falsely confident.

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