Let's Talk About Sex by Ann-Marlene Henning
Author:Ann-Marlene Henning
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Greystone Books
Published: 2020-05-15T00:00:00+00:00
10
The Four Spheres of Sexuality
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IN MUSIC THERE are interval systems; in medicine, cardiovascular systems. There are political systems, social systems, biological systems, and technical systems, and there is even a systems theory. And, of course, there are sexual systems. The sexuality of each and every person follows a certain logic, depending on everything that they have experienced up until then. As a therapist, I need to understand my client’s system and its logic. Why does someone come too soon? Why doesn’t a woman like her husband’s penis, while other women are profoundly fascinated by these swank manifestations of manhood? Why do some people find their genitals disgusting or even completely ignore them? Others love their genitals. Men in particular are often intrigued by the penis—what’s behind that?
In the concept that I use, the French Canadian approach sexocorporealism, a person’s sexual system is described as having four important components. These are represented by four spheres, which provide an animated entirety that gives my work a clear structure.
1.THE COGNITION SPHERE
What does a person think about sexuality? Are they prejudiced? Are they ashamed? What do they know, or not know?
2.THE COUPLE SPHERE
This is made up of everything that happens between two people. Is there symbiosis? Are they developing intimacy? Do they talk to each other? Are they both able to seduce one another or others? Are they in love? Is the relationship in trouble?
3.THE PERCEPTION SPHERE
What gender does a person identify as? How do they perceive their body? What are their sexual preferences? What exactly arouses them? Do they have fantasies? Do they feel desire? Are there cravings? What characterizes their sexuality?
4.THE PHYSIOLOGICAL SPHERE
This refers to the body itself. Are there relevant medical diagnoses? Drugs? Viagra? Contraceptives? Alcohol? How do they use their bodies when aroused? Do they have good circulation?
These four groups flow and overlap. If something happens in one, it affects others and influences the entire system. You can visualize this model like wind chimes, constantly in motion. Depending on the wind and weather, the spheres circle in their own spaces, are large or small, are colorful or monochrome, and to a greater or lesser degree are filled with acquired skills, or their absence.
The sexual system these components symbolize develop all through life. With all new clients, it’s exciting for me (and them) to discover what the spheres already contain and which of them need encouragement. When a client talks, I listen for components of the four spheres. They specify the structure I use to sort answers and information or, as the case may be, to pose the next question.
Sphere to Sphere
THE LARGEST SEXUAL organ in a human being is . . . the brain! This sexual organ is found, logically, in the first area, the Cognition Sphere. It consists of cognitive components like knowledge and ignorance, understanding and preconceptions that people have adopted over the years regarding sexuality—all the things that are externally influenced, such as by sexually charged glossy ads, religious or moral obligations, education, society, or nation. In this way norms develop, as do concepts of what is deviant.
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