Kiira Korpi by Korpi Kiira;Nurminen Jere;

Author:Korpi, Kiira;Nurminen, Jere;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: McFarland & Company, Incorporated Publishers
Published: 2022-03-29T00:00:00+00:00

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The Big Fall

Kiira was always very earnest and that led to ­sky-high expectations. I hoped that if she could relax a bit more, it might reflect on the ice. It was a pursuit of perfection, which, on the other hand, was the reason why Kiira got so far.—Arthur Borges, Kiira’s husband

To be honest, my perfectionism produced results, at least for a while. At the same time, considering my mental state and level of maturity, every setback was torture:

26th of January 2008: I’m so pissed about missing a medal. But I need to just be happy for Lare [Laura Lepistö], and keep my own goals in mind. At least now I know exactly what to improve on when I go for the World Championships.

20th of March 2008: I feel absolutely awful after the competition. The difference in training and courage really showed. I’m not ready to join the elite group!

During that difficult 2008 season, I wrote often in my diary about disappointment, anger, and regret, but I hung tough, and at both the European and worlds I placed well after my short program. My coaches kept working on my mental game. Together with Maare and Susanna we came up with a series of mantras to help me keep my thoughts together during competition performances. At the Europeans Maare came up with a phrase I liked: “I want, therefore I can.” That took me through the short program, but once I was in the free program, I hit a wall. It was difficult for me to skate two good programs in the same competition, which was unfortunately a challenge throughout my career.

Commentators started calling me a ­short-program skater. They can be so annoying! But I can understand why they’d say that. I believe one reason was my physical condition, which wasn’t on par with the world’s best, probably due in large part to my eating disorder(s). In the ­four-minute free programs I found myself at my absolute limit. My coaches scrambled to help me stay steady.

Being rinkside was nerve wracking for me as coach. I wanted to be very careful with my words so I wouldn’t upset Kiira, but perhaps I was too careful. Sometimes I felt I should have come up with something better to brace Kiira before crucial programs.—Maaret Siromaa, Kiira’s coach, 1996–2013

My free program at the world championships in Göteborg 2008 was pathetic—almost everything went wrong. A triple toe loop with my hand touching down on the ice, a popped Lutz, and a fall in the middle of a spiral sequence. This wasn’t supposed to happen. My ­self-esteem was shattered even if my final standings weren’t all that bad. I was in 17th place in the free skating portion and with my points from the short program I was 9th overall. This remains my best result at the world championships, even if I was full of gloom and regret back then.

My mind was betraying me. I was my own worst enemy. Somewhere along the way I lost a sense of ease and confidence.

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